Talking Life Blog

Divorce within the Christian Community

divorce

2:20 PM, 27/7/2007 .. Posted by S Newman(speed)

As by scripture- man is to take HIS wife, not just any women, as his mate. GOD has one women for one man as Adem & Eve and it is up to us to find that one and only partner. It is this failure to do so that is leading to the incompatibility and resulting failure. It is not up to us to pick the daisy - leave your life in the hands of our Lord and Savior.

Divorce

11:42 PM, 16/9/2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

I think the important thing to remember about divorce is that not everyone who is divorced had any say in the matter. As I heard on talking life tonight, it takes two people to make a relationship, but only one to completely utterly destroy it.
I married a man in love, I have been a very good wife to him, stuck by him when he started using drugs, when he pawned all our possessions for drugs, when he used to take all our money leaving me to go begging for food so that our little girl didn't starve and even when he became violent.

Even when he became violent to our daughter I didn't end the relationship - only asking him to move out until his violence was under control.

And how did he repay my unconditional love and forgiveness? By running off with a woman was married to her second husband when they started their affair, who has five kids and found out, that before he left me, when he was telling me he wanted us to have another baby, he was off with her with her demanding they try for another baby (because she needs to get pregnant soon to keep her centrelink payments).

I didn't ask to be bashed, i didn't ask to be cheated on, and i certainly didn't ask for him to run off and leave me for a woman who has slept with half of brisbane and has made it clear to everyone else she doesn't love him and is just using him.

I gave him everything a woman could give and stuck by him through hell. And he repays me with asking another woman to marry him before we've even seperated.

And I'm not the only person in this situation. You can do everything possible to love a person and save your relationship and if they are selfish, it can mean absolutely nothing.

The Christian community needs to accept that not all divorcees are the same, and that some did nothing wrong at all in their relationship.

Getting divorced is a pain that can be worse than death. You can lose a beloved spouse that you love with all your heart, but in addition to losing the person you love, you have the additional pain of agonising betrayal, and the loss of friends and in laws - and in some cases like my own, I've received abusive emails from my husband's friends, abusive phone calls from his sister, and death threats made against both me and my five year old daughter by my husband's mistress.

Christians need to stop judging, and need to wake up to the realities of divorce.

Condemning good people who have been through hell only crushes a person who has already lost so much and can be enough to break some people.

help for victims of abuse

9:00 PM, 1/9/2009 .. Posted by Anonymous

There are more and more internet sites where victims are talking to each other about their experiences of domestic abuse. I have links on my site to several of these. My site, for those who are interested, is NotUnderBondage (dot com).

I believe that the church has been largely blind to domestic abuse and often inadvertently sided with the abuser and condemned the victim. And the doctrine of divorce has been dreadfully confuzzled for centuries. My book (which you can check out on my site) deals with this issue. To all victims out there: it is not your fault. You are not to blame. Reach out to other victim survivors who have come out of the fog. They are there, if you look hard enough!