Talking Life Blog

Raisng Boys to be Authentic Blokes - Sunday 25 March 2007

1. Is not the goal of raising boys to be authentic blokes? Then the question is, what is an authentic bloke? What are the mental images or pictures that come to mind when you think of an authentic bloke?

2. What is missing from our families, schools, and communities in the raising of boys into authentic men?

raising boys

9:06 PM, 25/3/2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

I raised 2 boys and a girl by myself for 10 years. Contrary to the previous callers comment, neither of my boys are 'nancy' boys. Both have grown into great young men of God because I realised early that they needed to be involved in blokey activities and to have strong male role models in their lives. To only concentrate only on the physical side of raising boys I believe is a grave mistake. Being created by the one God, I believe both boys and girls have the same make up, expressed differently. Perhaps the problems of physical abuse, sexual abuse, the high insidence of young male adult driver deaths etc is beacause we dont allow our boys to express their feelings rather to just toughen up a 'be a man'. Both of my boys are great communicators, good at sport and academics, able to express their feelings in a non feminine way and inflict bruises upon each other in wrestling and testing each others strength. They are also able to to support their mates through tough times and help out with the little kids at church. Both boys and girls need to be balance human beings and fulfill their potential in life. To be the people God created them to be not what we as parents or the voice of society wants them to be.

Men without a male role model - what about girls without Dads?

10:25 PM, 25/3/2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

I tuned in at the end of your segment re boys. What I got from what you were talking about was the importance of male role models in boys lives. A 30 something women called in talking about her brothers (firstly admitting that she herself does not have children). She was making the valid point that her brothers did not necessarily have role models but are wonderful fathers which is awesome. However the question I ask as a girl of 30 something who grew up in a family of all girls and who had two dysfunctional fathers - are we as girls missing out on positive male role models? Further is this is what is impacting upon our inability to meet men and create out own families? I would love nothing more than to have a relationship and have children but right now that seems to be more than unlikely??? I think like boys girls to miss out - prehaps in different ways however no less importantly on the male role model.

Raising Boys

10:31 PM, 25/3/2007 .. Posted by Patricia Burgess (pj_burgess@optusnet.com.au

As the mother of a 15 year old boy I am aware of the importance of male mentors in the lives of teen age boys. Our society is more mobile and families are less connected. Fathers are often absent or spend little time with boys due to family breakdown and heavy work schedules. How can we as a society connect teenage boys with positive male mentors? There must be many men especially elderly ones who want to make a difference and have a positive influence in the lives of young men. How about organisations such as churches, Boystown, the Lions Club and Rotary setting programs that would match mentors with young men? Boystown has the Mentor One program which offers free mentor training to men and women. It would be great if organisations could set up databases that would enable mentoring programs based on common interests, career goals, etc. For example matching up a high school student who has an interest in becoming an auto mechanic with a retired auto mechanic. A reputable and ethical person could offer training to a teen which would result in the teen learning valuable skills and an insight as to whether he should pursue this line of work. This arrangement would also provide needed assistance to people in the community who are struggling financially with meeting the cost of car repairs. It would be a practical and valuable arrangement for everyone - the mentor, the mentee and members of the community seeking assistance.
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<br>As a parent I want my son to participate in worthwhile activities during the school holidays. It would be great to have my son involved in a mentoring program which would assist disadvantaged people in the community. Are there such programs and if now how can such programs be established? I would greatly appreciate your comments. Thanks.

Thanks for those who have shared their thoughts.

1:05 PM, 26/3/2007 .. Posted by TalkingLife

A couple of things come to mind as I read your comments. In regard to absent fathers this not impact boys but also girls as has been highlighted. In the next month or so I will be doing a program on the impact of fatherless on daughters. As someone who grew up with a Dad who was often physically and always emotionally absent fortunately I had proximity to some good men whom I chose as my role models. As I reflect back to my adolescent and childhood years I’m not sure these men knew the impact and the power that they had in my life. I’m sure if you were to ask my Mum who were my positive male role models I am certain she would not be able to name these men. There a lots of boys who seek out positive role models, what parents can do to facilitate this is place their son in the proximity of good blokes.

Patricia, there are a number of ways of getting your son involved in some community programs you can look at Teen Missions http://www.teenmissionsoz.com.au/ or contact volunteering Queensland http://www.volunteeringqueensland.org.au/ or see what your church has going. Again in the absence of a formal program don’t hesitate to ask good blokes if they could spend time with your son.

Peter J