Reptile Picture Quiz

Reptile Picture Quiz

Frog Jokes

Whats a frog’s favorite game?
It's croak-et!

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?
They sit eggsaminations!

What's a frogs favorite flower?
A croakus!

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel!

Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank!

What kind of bull doesn't have horns?
A bullfrog!

Why was the frog down in the mouth?
He was un-hoppy!

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!

What's a toad's favorite ballet?
Swamp Lake!

What’s green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups!

What do toads drink?
Croaka-cola!

When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad (towed)!

What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft!

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts!

What kind of shoes do frogs like?
Open toad sandals!
Do you have a frog joke?  Leave a comment and tell us your joke.

Reptile Quiz No 1

Snake Jokes

What did the naughty little diamondback say to his big sister?
"Don't be such a rattle-tail!"

What does an exhibitionistic snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.

What's a picnic?
A snack in the grass.

What is a snake's favorite subject?
Hissssstory!

What does a boa constrictor use to make herself look prettier?
Hair coilers!

What kind of snake is completely different?
A Monty Python.

Knock, knock.
   Who's there?
Snakeskin.
   Snakeskin who?
Snakeskin bite, but we'd rather run away.

How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow!

What did the snake say to Sylvester the Cat?
Nothing. He was ssssspeechlesssss!

What do you call a snake without any clothes on?
Snaked!

Why is a snake so smart?
Because you can't pull its leg!

Why is a snake so careless?
Because it keeps losing its skin!

Hey Frank, are we venomous?
   Why do you want to know?
'Cause I just bit my tongue!

What does a snake radio DJ say?
"Snake, rattle and roll!"

What does a well-dressed snake wear?
A boa tie!
 
What kind of snake keep its car the cleanest?
A windshield viper!

What is a snake's favorite footwear?
Snakers, of course!

How do snakes show they love you?
They give you hugs and hisses!

What happens when a snake gets mad?
It throws a hisssssy-fit!

What is the most popular snake dialect?
Boom-slang!

What kind of snake can do math in the dark?
A night adder!

What kind of snakes get to hug the bride at a wedding?
Garter snakes!

What do snakes do at the end of a date?
They give each other a goodnight hiss!

What kind of snake can cut a rug with the best of them?
A carpet python!

What snake do you bow to?
A kingsnake.

Who married the kingsnake?
Well, the queensnake of course!

What prize was given for first place?
A blue ribbon snake!

What snake is a member of the band?
The RATTLEsnake!

How can you revive a snake that looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation!

How did the snakes bust out of jail?
They scaled the wall!
 
What kind of slippers do snakes wear?
Water moccasins!

What do snakes put on their kitchen floors?
Rep-tiles!

How do you measure a snake?
In inches. They don't have any feet!

If you crossed a snake with a robin, what kind of bird would you get?
A swallow!

What did the cobra say to the flute player?
"Charmed to meet you!"

What would you get if you crossed a newborn snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa!

Why couldn't the female snake have any babies?
Because she'd had a hiss-terectomy!

What should a ghost yell if it wants to scare a snake?
"BOA!"

Why do snakes go to free clinics?
They like the sliding scales!

Why can't snakes eat soup?
No spoon! They only have a forked tongue!

Why was the water moccasin suspended from the swim team?
He was failing Hisss-tory.

Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry?
She thought the joke was hisss-terical

Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssssside.

Why didn't the snakes leave Noah's Ark and multiply like all the other animals?
They couldn't multiply. They were adders!

Why did the wife snake leave her husband at the party?
She thought he was making an asp out of himself!

What kind of snake helps clean the dishes?
A dish-viper!

What do you get if you cross a snake with a builder?
A Boa Constructor!

Why do snakes squeeze their food?
Because they have no arms to hug it!!!

What is a snake's favorite song?
"Fangs For The Memories"

What is a snake's favorite dance?
The 'Mamba'!

Where do snakes go to have fun?
The boa-ling alley!

What clothing might sister snakes share?
Co-bras!

What do you call a snake who works for the governement ?
A civil serpent !
 
What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ?
A snake charmer !
 
What subject are snakes good at in school ?
Hiss-tory !
 
What do you call a snake that informs the police ?
A grass snake !
 
Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?
Because they had a crush on each other !

Why are snakes hard to fool ?
They have no legs to pull !
 
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ?
Someone else's !
 
What do you do if you find a poisonous snake in your toilet ?
Wait till he's finished !
 
Why can't you trust snakes ?
They speak with forked tongues !
 
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?
A boa constructor !

What do snakes write at the bottom of their letters ?
With Love and Hisses !
 
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ?
Fang letters !
 
What do you give a sick snake ?
Asp-rin !
 
What did the python say to the viper ?
I've got a crush on you !

Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank!

What kind of bull doesn't have horns?
A bullfrog!

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?
They always want to play leap frog with him!

Why was the frog down in the mouth?
He was un hoppy!

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!

What's a toad's favorite ballet?
Swamp Lake!

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups!

Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It weighed too much for its scales!

What do you call a lizard that sings?
A rap-tile!

Do you know any reptile jokes?

Post a comment and add your reptile joke here.