Drousy Drivers Die: Scenes from a Family Vacation--Scene One

Posted at 9:30 PM, Tuesday, December 30, 2008

We are more than halfway through the 450 mile drive back to Adelaide from Melbourne. It's the part after lunch that is the toughest: knowing that we still have half the drive to get through, and we're all going to just get more tired, grumpy and sore as the day wears on. It doesn't help that we've been mostly subsisting on a diet of Pepsi, Doritos, cashews, and Orios, with more of the same planned to get us home. There is little variation in the scenery from one hour to the next: brown fields, sparse gum trees, roadhouses, and country towns spaced about 30 miles apart. We are discouraged to see that the sole "attraction" on this route--the 14 meter Giant Koala--has changed management, and the little restaurant next door no longer feels nearly as welcoming as it did when we stopped here with Bobby's parents in April.

What really doesn't help is that there are signs about every five miles or so reminding us of the grim consequences of nodding off behind the wheel. Examples: "A micronap can kill in seconds." "Feeling drowsy? Powernap now!" "Revive--arrive alive!" And, of course, "drowsy drivers die."

Other than these upbeat messages, the federal highway authority has done practically nothing to make this long and monotonous drive easier. The governments of Victoria and South Australia haven't stepped up either. There are little "powernap areas" made available for this purpose: these are basically parking spaces right next to the road, which offer very little in the way of peace and quiet. There is also an occasional picnic spot--generally just a sole picnic table with no bathrooms, no running water, and not even a rubbish bin. Happily, a number of small towns have shouldered their responsibility to look after travelers so that we don't feel entirely abandoned. We had a picnic on the drive to Melbourne in the little town of Nhill, which has not one but two sets of easy-to-find public toilets next to lovely playgrounds. Tintinara in South Australia has fewer than 1000 residents but still manages to look after a small playground and public restrooms right next to the petrol station.

As we listened through a large percentage of "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" on CD, my mind wandered to what kind of signage might have been more inspirational for weary drivers. Perhaps a story told a few words at a time? Or a very quick brain teaser? Just anything a bit less grim? At any rate, we did survive, and now cheerfully reviving back in the comfort of our own home!