Woo for everyone II

I’ve found a new blog to read. Willowsrealm is what it’s called but there doesn’t seem to be much substance. I left a comment, but it got deleted so I thought it best that I have a little look around and see what this person is up to. I figure that because they’re asking for money in a free forum and therefore have crossed the line and posted SPAM in our forum, they’re fair game. So, to Willowsrealm we go.

There’s a little bit to get through, but it’s always best to start at the beginning, so that’s what we’ll do:

Enter the magical world of Tarot,

I guess I didn’t really need to read much past that to get to the gist of it.

Readings are read (what else can you do with them?) by an experienced, passionate tarot reader, ~*willowsrealm*~.

This is all there is by way of credentials here, so thanks Willow. We wouldn’t have known that if you hadn’t told us. You could at least tell us where and when you graduated from tarot school. A little educational punch, especially if you expect people to listen when you tell them how they should live their lives, never goes astray. “Every little helps”, as my mum always says.

You’ll be pleased to hear though that your tarot reading will only cost you $10 if it’s emailed to you but $30 for a recording to be posted. Personally I think I’d go for the email. It’s always best to have the evidence in writing if you can manage it. Although, a signed transcript of the recording would probably be better in court, but as we’ve seen with various Royal Commissions, an email can get you into just as much trouble.

Trouble is though that if I was to get a reading from Willow, then a reading from one of the ladies my wife works with, then get a reading at random out of the paper, then go and see the most expensive tarot reader I can find, every single reading will be different. I know this because I’ve tried it. One or two almost got close to the truth too, but none could be more accurate than less than %50 with their guesses and predictions. That makes it no better than chance so it’s obvious that they were all guessing.

Now for my favourite bit:

Ask the Angels A question You will learn what the angels have wanted to tell you…

Oh dear… And that's just for the use of capitals and lack of punctuation. But which angels would those be Willow, the little ones in your head that just won’t keep quiet? Sorry, that was a low blow but you’re going to have to do better than that. For starters your going to have to say which ones. I mean, are we talking Arch Angels here? You know, your Michaels, Gabriels and Satans or just your run of the mill “guardian” angels like George or Nancy? I reckon you should probably do a separate line in Arch Angels though. Surely those lads would be worth much more than the poultry 5 bucks your asking. Money in the bank. But once again people, your “Angel speak” will be emailed to you within 12 hours.

Guided by Spirit, Given with Blessing, Love & Light…

I’d have thought that spirits could do better than 12 hours, but what that “light” on the end is supposed to mean has got me stumped! How do you give someone something with light? Give them a lit candle or a switched on torch I suppose.

Seriously though, this is much worse than anything even Sylvia Browne has managed to dream up so I had a poke around at the web site. At least Willow has the decency not to charge $700 for an over the phone reading like Sylvia. But everything there is nice and anonymous, not even a PO Box. All there is, is an email link to a user called “twistedwillow”. Now that made me giggle.

I had to wonder, what with all this stuff about speaking with angels, why Willow would bother with the Wicca stuff that’s advertised at that site. Has Willow not read Revelation? You’d like to think that Willow had if Willow is talking with angels, but Revelation makes it quite clear that if it doesn’t come from god then it comes from the devil and the whole pentagram/witchcraft thing seems to me at least, to be a little “devil” (notice how I’m not saying Satan here…) inspired. So it would seem my dear Willow, that biblically speaking, you can’t possibly be talking to angels unless they’re angels of the kind that most gawd fearin’ folk prefer to steer clear of. Me, I just prefer to steer clear, unless of course they should happen to try and lay down some spam and solicit business in our beautiful free forum.

1:05 PM - 23/2/2007 - post comment

I'm worried sick.....

That the Angels want to send me a message. I mean what happened to those visit Earth skills they used to have. I guess that means she is dealing with the many different lower order Angels that can't get a leave of absence.

I'd be worried about the message content too. Considering the company they keep it's likely to be violent and involve turning Iraq into a glass factory.

Perhaps Gaud could get an Net connection and cut the $10 fee out of the process. Mind you he would them be in league with the devilishly cunning Fabulous Phil Burgess (he of the lets get our shareholders to bug pollies for a fair go, fame). Mind you compared to Hitler and those raving US Evangelists I guess he could cope.

petermcc - 2:11 PM - 23/2/2007

No good...

Woried sick eh? When I get like that I can't even have a beer. But I don't think you need to be worried Pete. It seems the angels only speak for money, so if you just hang on to your hard earned, you should be right.

That said, I know it's easy to get curious and wonder what they MIGHT have to say, should you hand over the cash, but it seems to me you might as well hold a tenner up to your ear and cut out the middle man.

You know, if you cup a twenty in your hand and hold it against your ear just so, I swear you can hear the ocean... I wonder if I get better results from a fifty?

Hey, there might be something in this. I could give lessons. Bring your own twenty but be sure and leave it behind...:)

Edited by plonka on 22/2/2007 at 9:16 PM

plonka - 2:26 PM - 23/2/2007

Couldn't help myself.

I've layed down a challenge for Willow. Here's the comment I posted over there:

-----------------

Why don't you show us how good you are Willow, and advertise your skills as you go.

Here's a challenge. I'll give you any info you need about me to do a tarot reading, publically, here in your comments and in my blog. You can post the reading here for all to see and I will get my wife or anyone you want that would know, to verify, or not, what you see in your reading, for past, present and as the future arrives, for that as well.

If you can be more than 50% accurate with anything in my past or present, I will pay you 10 times your fee, if not you get nothing. We'll leave the future out, if you want, unless you see something very short term.

-----------------

So, I guess we'll see if I get a bite...:)

plonka - 6:52 PM - 24/2/2007

I've been looking...

..(is that a good thing or a bad thing?)...
but nup... no bites.

deena - 7:20 PM - 24/2/2007

By all means

Look Dee...:) I don't think you'll see much though.

I think the best I'm likely to get is the ol' "It doesn't work if you don't believe in it" line. Of course, that doesn't take into account that I'm not likely to believe in it until I've seen it work. A classic catch-22 and what these guys rely on to make money, so I'm not likely to have to pay...

plonka - 7:26 PM - 24/2/2007

Oh well...

It seems that Willow didn't want to play. If you try the link above you will see that it is no more. If you go to "Willowrealm" profile, you will see that "this user currently has no blogs."

I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to the games, but alas, poor Willow didn't want to play...:(

plonka - 10:12 PM - 25/2/2007

Well...

I've got a good 'tarot reader' joke for you, if you're up to it!? Big smiles Dee

deena - 8:29 AM - 26/2/2007

No worries...:)

Go for it Dee..:)

plonka - 9:35 AM - 26/2/2007

RE the supernatural

Aparts from the fact that god believers (esp christians and muslims), are not supposed to be dabbling in what could only be described as the "profane arts", it hardly surprises me that many of them do.

Once you open the door to "woo" - the "woo" just increases. Pretty soon, everything is "woo" except the "woo" you believe to be the "true woo."

beepbeepitsme - 2:24 PM - 26/2/2007

True woo...:)

Hehehe..lol... I like that one Beep, I might have to steal it. I'm sure I can work "the woo that is true" into something....:)

plonka - 2:45 PM - 26/2/2007

The frog and the tarot reader

Lonely and desperate for female company, a frog telephones a tarot reader service to find out what future the cards hold for him.
He is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl you will want to know everything about you”.
Thrilled beyond belief, the frog asks excitedly, “That’s fantastic! Where will I meet her? At work? At a party?”
“No”, says the tarot reader, “In biology class”.

deena - 7:29 PM - 26/2/2007

Good ....

Good challenge Plonka,

even better joke Deena - or was it a true prediction?

DonQuixote - 10:14 AM - 28/2/2007

Just like Sylvia

Thanks Don...:)

Seems that Willow didn't want to take up the challenge though, moes the pity. Maybe they just didn't have the confidence they'd get better than 50%, I guess we'll never know. It's served it's purpose though.

The site has been removed and that particular piece spam is no more. I wish I could achieve the same with all the viagra and travel agency ones... Oh well...

But you've won a prize Don. You made comment number 666. You'll need to read my next post to see the significance of that, but well done! Take an extra lolly from the jar and a gold star, you deserve it...:)

plonka - 10:24 AM - 28/2/2007

Willowsrealm

That's a real shame she deleted that.

Obviously it could affect her business. But shouldn't her credulous fanbase know?

dikkii - 2:59 PM - 1/3/2007

Funny thing...

You should mention that Dikkii. I'm just in the process of penning a whole article concerning the fact that he/she (it didn't really say) ran away....:)

plonka - 3:11 PM - 1/3/2007