I can't believe it's not butter!
LAHA (that means "Living away from home allowance")
Hey, I just thought I'd tell you that I actually found out what's going to happen to me after we finish the job we're doing at work. I thought you might like to know.
Thankfully I'm not going to Cobar...well, as far as I know. Instead I shall be sent to the RAAF base at Wagga, where surprise surprise, I get to do fire alarm systems again. I am thinking that I will be staying there for extended periods of time, as today my boss told me to inform ATEL that I need to do block tafe.
So there you have it. From doing fire systems for the Army, which everyone now hates doing, I now get to do fire for the Air Force. I guess it's better than Cobar.
A memorable holiday
Now that I am faced with the prospect of work once more, and the daily routine of life that accompanies it, I have had the chance to look back on my holiday period. This reminiscing has revealed the humourous side to this time, or if you wanted to say that differently, it has severely diminished the associated level of stress.
I will be the first to admit that I like to know where my things are. As in, I don't like to lose things. As in, I don't like people touching my stuff. This attitude doesn't work so well when you have a house full of people, as we did around the New Year period.
I'm also willing to admit that I'm a hypocrite...and that I hate decievers. See what I mean?
So I love having my fun, bun I don't like anyone pulling the same trick on me.
Hmm, poor Bridget, I hope nobody laughed at you when you told everyone of my bad luck at the Lorne Pier to Pub. Whilst on the topic of Maguires, thanks Emily for thinking of me, even if the txt made no sense if I was dead.
...
Well, now that I've been looking on Flickr at wedding photos, and talking to Daniel, I've lost what I thought I might write (that must have sounded better in my head). So now I shall start off with a new topic...
I recently saw Casino Royale...as in, an hour ago. I liked Daniel Craig as Bond, even if he was a bit like Superman at times. That said, in the opening sequence, it's like seeing Bond pitted against The Incredible Frog-Man. Jeez, that guy was damn good at running away.
I also liked that there was a bit of humour in the movie. Oh, and by humour, I don't mean that corny crap in the last few movies. I liked that the movie gave a nod to Goldfinger when Bond won the Aston Martin DB5.
Hmm, now I'm showing my insanity here. In the scene when Vesper was...I hope I'm not going to ruin anything here...actually, go away now if you haven't seen the movie. Anyway, when Vesper, what a weird name, well, when she is walking off with the money, wearing that red dress, all I could see was The Evil Special K lady. Hmmm...
Well, it seems time is short. I guess that happens when holidays finish. Damn.
Buggered...
I'd like to think that my swimming started off slow but managed to get to an acceptable point a few years ago. However, during that time I had already started to cut back on the amount of sessions I was doing, and instead I just kept "winging it". The thing is, it worked. Up until last year I was doing personal best times, but now I'm finding that I just can't do it.
Today I swam at the Albury Open Skins Meet, and whilst I wasn't feeling that crash hot, I was still quite a way off my times. I find this slightly depressing, as I only once managed to do my 57 for 100 free, and I never got my 50 free down to a 25.
I'm really hoping that I'll have a few good swims at the next few meets, but unfortunately that seems unlikely. I've already started getting beaten by the next generation of lean swimming guns from our club, a situation definately not helped by my lack of training.
The problem is that I don't train the way I used to. When I actually go to training, I can't push myself during sets, and my training is always shorter due to work hours. My greatest fear is that I've already hit my peak, and am now on the fast descent to swimming like one of the old fella's.
Australia's Favourite Album
"What are the top 10 albums of all time as voted by the nation? The results were revealed in My Favourite Album, which aired on Sunday, December 3, at 7:30pm.
It is truly an unexpected and exciting list."
Unexpected indeed. Of course, these kind of shows are always open to abuse (as Dad frequently reminded me), but still, I found the results...interesting.
For those who didn't watch the show (or had no idea what I was talking about), here is the top 10....
- Pink Floyd — Dark Side Of The Moon
- Jeff Buckley — Grace
- Radiohead — Ok Computer
- The Beatles — Abbey Road
- The Beatles — Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
- Nirvana — Nevermind
- Led Zeppelin — Led Zeppelin 4
- Red Hot Chili Peppers — Blood Sugar Sex Magik
- Meat Loaf — Bat Out Of Hell
- U2 — The Joshua Tree
Overall, I don't think that this top 10 list sounds like Australia's favourites. It could be any country. That's not to say I'm displeased with it all, as I was quite happy to see Led Zeppelin in there, and I'm rather fond of Dark Side Of The Moon (which I'm actually listening to now).
For the full Top 100, go to the My Favourite Album site.
Well, that's about it, except for some album covers they had on the My Favourite Album site...
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Today I watched the popular and highly controversial film Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. I always liked watching Borat on The Ali G Show, which started some 6 or so years ago. Part of Borat's appeal over Sacha Baron Cohen's other characters was his ability to lull people into a false sense of security, meaning they would reveal their various prejudices...that, and Borat's uncanny resemblence to Gerard Pigott.
Whilst watching Borat today, there were so many times that I just felt sick for the people whom had revealed their true feelings. Whether that be people telling Borat that gays should be hung from the gallows, or their not so kindly feelings towards Jews, or just crazy American's and their feelings of the Iraq war, Borat manages to bring out the worst in people. The good thing about this is it provides some humourous viewing.
Hehe...
What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand trying to make James Bond actor Daniel Craig actually cool you need to realize that everything is controlled by a group of people so unknown that even they themselves do not know of their exsistence made up of Pro-Stupidity Lobbyists with help from Virgin Airlines, people from Aston Martin...and Sony...and Richard Branson.The conspiracy first started during the 1997 theft of the original Goldfinger Aston Martin in a Boca Raton Airport hangar. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the tearing down of the Berlin Wall.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by incontinence...and higher than average levels of flatulence.
They want to enforce national parachuting for all Anti-Stupidityists and imprison resisters in Cobar using planes.
In order to prepare for this, we all must karate-chop tables in half. Since the media is controlled by Pierce Brosnan we should get our information from Sean Connery.
I created this ridiculous (but very true) conspiracy theory after reading Selling Your Soul - A Guide For Dummies. This humourous blog had a link to a site with which you too can divulge your deepest, darkest fears, and reveal to the world your own conspiracy theory. Here is that link...
Create your own conspiracy theory here.
Licensed to murder...
Unfortunately, I believe Bond is dead. The world doesn't need a Bond anymore, expecially not one like Daniel Craig.
Yes, that's right, I don't think Bond should be blonde. Here is the article accompanying the above link, Cartoon Bond loses his humanity, which I also enjoyed reading. I particularly liked this description of Daniel Craig....
Casino Royale really is not a bad movie. It's got all the usual Bond touches: creepy arch-villains (this one weeps blood), breathtaking locales, fast cars, beautiful women and a few cool gadgets. But turning 007 into a secret agent with almost super-human physical powers really diminishes the film - at least for me.
I hope I'm not spoiling anything here. But in the opening chase scene alone, Bond survives about three dozen brushes with death. He jumps 20 metres from a crane onto a metal platform. He jumps 25 metres off the platform onto a moving pallet. He gets shot at, burned, kicked, scalded, karate-chopped in the thorax, whacked over the head with a pipe. Then he gets away while surrounded by 200 ticked-off soldiers pointing automatic weapons at him. (I won't tell you how he gets away. But it's not the old ballpoint-pen-turns-into-a-hand-grenade thing again.)
It's all too much. And that's just the first few minutes. By the end of the movie, Bond has been beaten, shot, whipped, poisoned, nearly run over by a tanker-truck, thrown from a speeding car and almost drowned. You talk about having a bad day.
Well, all that's left is to actually watch the movie, and then pass judgement on the latest installment of a movie saga that just won't die.
...and today's news!
THORPE QUITS!
KRAMER-MAN, aka
MICHAEL RICHARDS, IS
REALLY STUPID!
BORAT IS ACTUALLY
GERARD!
That's right, major headlines in today's news. Of course, such notable news items warrant thorough debate, and there's no more complete debate than me talking to myself.
Should Ian Thorpe have quit swimming. Well, that question is too difficult, so I shall alter it. Could Ian Thorpe have kept winning and being an all round champion. To that question, I answer a resounding yes. However, that is based on his past performances, and as such, does not take into account Thorpe's mental state. If he's had enough of swimming then that's it, he has to finish.
Hmm, people really need to move on from Seinfeld. It seems that Jerry Seinfeld has made some headway in his attempt to be known for anything other than Seinfeld. However, the other members of the cast seem to be forever cursed, destined to eternal "Seinfeld Syndrome".
The tirade apparently began after two black audience members started shouting at him that he wasn't funny.
Richards answered: "Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f--king fork up your arse."
He paced across the stage taunting the men for interrupting his show.
"You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now mother-f--ker. Throw his arse out. He's a nigger!" Richards shouted before repeating the racial insult over and over again.
An audience member heckled back: "That was uncalled for, you f--king cracker-ass motherf--ker."
Richards retorted: "Cracker-ass? You calling me cracker-ass, nigger?"
While there was some audible chuckling in the audience, someone could be heard gasping, "Oh my God."
Another audience member is heard to call out: "It's not funny. That's why you're a reject, never had no shows, never had no movies. 'Seinfeld,' that's it."
Stupid...bloody stupid.
Lastly in today's news.....
Borat is Gerard.
That is all.
?!
I quite recently recieved a random message from some stranger prompting me to visit their site and click on a link. As you can see, that seems like a ridiculous proposal, which only an idiot wold agree to.
Well....
Fine! I admit it. I'm gullible. Stupid zombies. The aforementioned link, designed to highlight my stupidity was fairly stupid itself. "I have now eaten your brains" or some such nonsense. I would offer some sort of commendation to the author of the 'witty' zombie link, but sarcasm has completely taken over....and it's not real hard to fool me.
Die zombies, die!
Bingo Bango...
I just paid for my car....as in, I gave back to Mum the money I had used. So now I start again, slowly building up money. Such is life.
Hmm, on a rather different note, as I was helping Emily set up a BlogNow page, I realised I have a few pointless pages. I own a My Space, which Eleanor told me to make. I created a Wayn thing some time ago, which Daniel told me about. I still possess one of those other 'my space' things, whatever the hell it's called, which I'm sure someone told me about, most probably a Maguire.
The point is, there is a multitude of pointless web pages, and blogs, and picture sites, and numerous other shitty sites out there, and, well, the point is, that there is no point. So over time I accumulate this crap like an old man collecting everything he comes into contact with.
...hmm, that'll do for now.
Newsworthynessness...
What do I have to report?...
I bought a car! It's a green '96 Holden Commodore.
I've actually seen representatives from the employment agency I work for...and I'll get my Tools For Trade money soon..ish.
We had to work on Monday and Tuesday, even though the office had them off. However, on Tuesday we finished at 12:00 and went to the pub.
...I'm going to swim in the Pier to Pub.
Hmm....
....I have a car!
What the dickens?!
Wonderbra for men "enhances"
November 03, 2006 12:00
AN Australian company has produced the men's equivalent of the "Wonderbra" - a range of "Wondercup" underwear designed to enhance the apparent size of the contents.
"It basically lifts, separates and extends," aussieBum founder Sean Ashby was quoted as saying by the national AAP news agency.
"This design uses all of the natural assets of the person, whether they be big, small or indifferent."
The underwear features a "wondercup," a pouch used to "separate and stop squashing."
Ashby said the design, launched last week, had attracted a lot of interest in the United States and Europe.
The marketing campaign features the slogan: "The new 'wondercup'
technology in these attention-grabbing, all-cotton Patriot briefs will
have you seriously looking bigger and feeling amazing."
The
brand is sold in some of the biggest department stores in the world and
is distributed to more than 70 countries via Internet sales.
"THE ARMY, THE EDGE."
For a challenge?
Camaraderie?
Mateship?
To "Do your bit for the country"?
Pff, none of those reasons is good enough for me to drop everything, forget my whole life and get abused and reduced to just another number. I'm worth more then that.
It is my opinion that those in the army have no life. They are not people, they are tools. This idea has been present in my mind ever since I began my apprenticeship, as I have been working for a large electrical company who are installing fire systems for the army.
Through my work, I have talked to numerous members of the defence forces, ranging from the shitkickers, up to some of the more lofty ranks.
Everyone I have seen in the army smokes and drinks. A lot. As my boss said, "whatever they did to them at Kapooka, it must have been bad for them all to start smoking and drinking so much!"
A very large number of people in the army are car nuts. I reckon this is because they have nothing better to do, and nothing else to spend their money on. Their alcohol is cheap, they get all their accomodation and meals subsidised, and what they do have to pay is automatically taken out of their wage. This means they can spend whatever they get. Army people have big tvs, computers, X-boxs, flash cars, expensive sunglasses, shitloads of DVDs....and no life.
Recently I have been working in a series of buildings reserved for fairly new male recruits. In some wings of the buildings there is no wall. Or roof. It is just completely covered in posters. Sure, we all think that's great, it makes work a little bit more interesting. However, at the same time, I think it shows these guys have....you guessed. No life.
Well, I thought I'd start my new blog with an actual blog. I hope this is sufficient.
The Beginning...or is it the end?...or just the middle?
You have reached the new residence for the literary translation of my thought. As such, this blog will be largely empty....haha.
The reason for my transition from My Space, or whatever the hell it calls itself, to WhitePage, or BlogNow, is that I am disgruntled. No, not gruntled...disgruntled. My Space killed a blog I had just written. Or rather, it didn't save it. Now, you may or may not know, but I do not write blogs often, or at least anything of substance. So when my soon to be published blog was deleted, it was the final straw.
So now I find myself here, quite some time after Michael's first (and thereafter consistent) complaints about My Space, and his requests I sign up for a WhitePage account.
Hazaa!
About Me
My Profile
Archives
Friends
My Photo Album
Links
My Flickr pageI don't use this blog anymore...
KablooeyPig (My Space)
Michael...aka, China Machete
Michael's Flickr page
Chris ("relative-to-be")
Daniel's blog
Daniel's Flickr page
Emily's blog
Emily's Flickr page
Shari
Dr Krautz
Categories
Recent Entries
LAHA (that means "Living away from home allowance")A memorable holiday
Buggered...
Australia's Favourite Album
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Friends
Beijingfishpigtech
zhangbohan
ylime