Able to deal well with rejection?

Posted on 26/1/2009 at 1:39 AM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I never used to be able to deal well with rejection. Now that I think about it, the possibility of rejection used to control my actions. I’d be lying if I said that I still don’t have a fear of rejection to some degree, but I think it’s now within a manageable level.

Here’s what I do:

If I ever get rejected, which rarely is as bad as you picture it, reframe it.

You’ll notice naturals doing this. If a girl doesn’t respond well to you, ignore it and move on. I noticed my friend, who is extremely good with women, doing this the other night. He did his little dance move that he always does at this house party and the girl didn’t respond. Instead of it effecting his state of mind, he moved on and ended up dancing with his now girlfriend.

It’s all about how you frame the situation. He could have easily said, “That girl didn’t like my dancing, and therefore me.” But he instead just wrote it off, didn’t dwell on it, and moved to the next girl for success.

Heard this before?

“I’ve got a boyfriend.”

This could be a form of rejection. Instead, why not reframe it?

“Are you happy with it?”
“Looking to upgrade?”
“Would he care if we started hanging out?”
“I’ll tell you what, how about we go out once, and if you have more fun with me, you can break the bad news to him.”

Flow

Posted on 26/1/2009 at 1:38 AM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I call the 20% that gets you 80% your “Flow”

“Flow” is just like it sounds… which is why its such a great metaphor.

It’s unattached to a result… it’s flexible to any outcome.

It’s adaptable

It’s strong and torrent when it needs to be… yet, calm and relaxing as well.

In other words, someone with good “flow” is:

Confident and Secure – they don’t need to dominate every interaction to “prove” their worth, yet they can take control of a situation in a moment’s notice

Adaptable and Unattached – they have fun and mingle well with people, yet are unassuming with any particular outcome.

Good “Flow” is a manifestation of all of this.

Charisma is a form of good “flow”… but not all of it.

Just think of how water “flow” through cracks… around rocks… through tunnels.

It goes where it needs to go to get where its going. It has no defined path.

Throw a rock in the river… it goes around it.

Here’s the kicker, women love to “ride” good “flow”… and I swear I’m not trying any sexual innuendo.

I may not be explaining my “flow” phenomenon in the best of terms… but if you sit back and think on it… you can see where I’m going with this.

Bottom line: First things first – Find your 20% that gets you 80%. Then decide how “good” you want to be. You may find that being GREAT with women, just isn’t worth it… like I did.

Hidden Meaning?

Posted on 26/1/2009 at 1:37 AM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

This article has some hidden meaning to it, see if you can figure it out…

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day… he’s actually a part owner of a personal training company and we were talking about the sheer lack of results that people get in their fitness programs.

We got looking at all of the people up on the cardio deck… when I laughed and said, “You know, we could take snapshot of this cardio deck and take another one in 3 months and every single person up here would look the exact same”.

Naturally, he laughed and said, “Yeah, I know… but everyone’s so rapped up in this aerobics craze that you really can’t get a word in edge wise… so many times, when we are training clients… we just end up giving them what they want… instead of what they need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, most of the time… it’s MORE PROFITABLE to just go with the flow… instead of trying to reprogram a lot of the stuff that people are thinking. Nobody wants to feel like they don’t know what they are talking about…”

“WOW… I really had no idea,” I said.

“Now, don’t get me wrong… we eventually try to morph them over to the correct way of thinking… but most of our time… and our CLIENT’S MONEY… is spent on rearranging what our clients think. Sure, they get some results along the way… but if they’d just wipe the slate clean and embrace what we REALLY want to do… we could multiply their efforts by 10.”

I want you to think about that for a second… because it’s very profound.

Most of an experts time and money is being spent helping you UNLEARN what you’ve already learned.

And that roles across ALL self improvement industries… not just fitness and dating/seduction type stuff.

Think of the money you’d save if you could possibly LET GO of what you think you know… with no resistance.

Oh, and back to my conversation with the gentleman that owns the personal training company.

“So what would you say to people that are really trying to get in shape… trying to get ripped…”, I asked.

“Tell them to quit whining and work their butts off… be more aggressive and push yourself like you’ve never pushed yourself before. Naturally, make sure you work your way into it… but in the end… workout like a freakin’ maniac.”

Sage advice.