TheRecruit is my almost 20 year old son who joined the Australian Army on the 9th of January this year.  The X, TheMother (mine that is), TheDaughter and myself dutifully attended TheRecruit's induction/swearing in - the moment where he signed his life away for four years of allegiance to Queen and Country.  My own personal lefty girlfriday views about warmongering and rifles in the hands of children aside, it was a very proud mummy moment.  We thought it would be a quit family farewell, but TheRecruit had enlisted the support of some of his friends.  Well when I say some, they pretty much converged on the small auditorium and whilst all the other recruits and their families made up a modest party of leave givers, TheRecruit had an entourage to rival Sylvester Stallone trying to smuggle contraband onto our fair shores!!!  Needless to say the poignant and intimate farewell I had envisaged didn’t materialise.  Instead I was swamped by and forgotten in the shadow of about 50 strapping young lads and perky breasted lasses.  I dabbed the tissues to my eyes, waved an unseen goodbye and watched the bus take off to the dry interior of NSW. 

Contact with TheRecruit during the intensive 80 day basic training has been somewhat limited.  They have limited PA time you know???  (that's Personal Administration for the uninitiated).  Such conversations have been peppered with acronyms I have no understanding of, nor choose to I might add. However, hallelujah, I have spoken to TheRecruit daily since Saturday.  Its his "March Out" this Friday, the proud longed for day when TheRecruit metamorphoses into TheSoldier.  They iron their poly's - whatever the hell a poly is - shine their boots, sharpen their salutes and say farewell to the Blamey Barracks and transition to IT (that's Initial Employment Training as I understand it). TheOneNightStand, TheMother and YourGirlFriday are embarking on an much anticipated RoadTrip to be part of this day bursting with the prospect of many Kodak moments, or so I thought.

TheRecruit has been in the base hospital since Thursday with suspected stress fractures to the ankles.  Apparently 7 days out bush without a shower or clean jocks or socks pretending to shoot mortal combat enemies isnt so good for your feet.  Who would have thought?  Thank god for the military, no expense is spared.  Now for us humble civilians, hospital beds arent so easy to come by.  Better of taking out shares in a medical furniture company and claim one as a dividend in my opinion.  Not for TheRecruit to face such woes.  In fact stress fractured feet (possible ones that is) requires at least 6 nights in hospital, escorted transport to the nearest civilian hospital for all manner of xrays, ultrasounds, stress tests, high rotations of dvds and music, and yet another night in base hospital waiting for results.  No "ring us in a week and we'll maybe, if we can be bothered and someone in outpatients hasnt lost the X-rays, let you know, ps stay off them tootsies" for my boy no sireee.  Its seems, and this a new medical phenomenon to I who have only ever experienced the joy of public hospital accomadation, that if you have an injury you should actually REST, keep of it. And it seems, hospitalisation being an effective way of enforcing such energetic would be soldiers.  I really think I should let someone know about this amazing development in medicine.  Has Johnny Howard heard about this, it should be on the front of every national news paper, or at least MX. 

So March Out, for TheRecruit at least, may not be the kodak moment we expected and looked forward to unless of course I want 25 shots (black and white and sepia included) of him at attention on the sidelines as the rest of Platoon 33 parades. 

Being the concerned girfriday parent that I am, and not wanting to waste a dime on travelling 4.5 hours for nothing, I today phoned ThePlatoonCommander.  Visions of an elequont, stern and dignified MATURE military man flashed before me as I dialled the number.  It was my maternal duty to ensure that I had all the information, and was not going to be misled up a merry chase along the Hume.  Enter stage left, a 20 something year old Reservist Soldier, going for the big gig, YES Left DMcK SIRRRR.  I dont believe his voice has quite broken yet, and wondered as he squawked his greeting if he still suffered from blinding back pimples common to teenage boys.  ThePlatoonCommander in making seemed to either having a hearing problem or hasnt quite mastered the art of the reply.  An almost nervous lilt to his linguistics and I wasnt feeling terribly confident that here was the real deal.  But TheRecruit assures me that he is, if not very young and Napolean Dynamitish in his delivery of humour.  Eventually I received the all clear, and at least an assurance to be informed otherwise, that TheRecruit will indeed 'March Out", just not participate in the actually marching.  But I am comforted to know that there will be ample opportunity to live our Kodak moments.  That the 3kgs of tissues and replacement bottles of waterproof mascara have not been purchased in vain.  TheRecruit will become TheSoldier, even if he has to remain in the Blamey Barracks (and after talking to ThePlatoon Command Im not utterly unconvinced its actually Barmy) to rest up those precious possibly fractured ankles.

So come Thursday, TheMother, TheOneNightStand and YourGirlFriday will embark on our RoadTrip and that my friends will be another story to tell.

Glorious Glorious Melbourne day today.  So nice to look out of my 13^th story city window and see sunshine and a few soft clouds.  Melbourne weather at is finest.  What a shame the day is marred by my recurring oncology appointment.  The discovery of a rather large an intrusive, malignant uterine tumour 2 ½ years ago means that I return to the RWH each quarter for an all important check up.  I hate these appoints.  I have to sit around for hours even though an appointment was made for me months before hand.  I then take pot luck at which particular Onc/Gyn I will actually meet that day.  I hate not seeing the same doctor regularly.  The joys of the public system I guess.  Mind you the docs at RWH are the best and I wouldn’t go anywhere else.  But it is a little disconcerting that they all know who I am, apparently my extremely rare tumour coupled with my age made for interesting discussion at the "Tumour Board" …who ever knew there was such a thing.  Hence my case being well known amongst the gynaecological oncology docs at RWH.  Joy.

So once again I will go and jump up on the table and have my innards poked and prodded all in the name of good health.  I will just have to take my mind back to the lovely relaxing weekend had at TheVan. 

Speaking of which, there was a lot of drinking and relaxing.  I have never seen anyone one put away so much beer and still remain standing.  TheOneNightStand can easily knock back a slab then move onto my vodka!  I on the other hand was practically falling asleep around our friends fire after a bottle of champagnes and a couple of voddies.  My problem THERE being the lack of food.  I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat, much to the annoyance of TheOneNightStand who kept telling me to eat something, even offering to cook for me.  I just got annoyed and told him to leave me alone.  Didn’t go down to well I don’t think.  Shock to the friends as we are the non-fighting couple, and this little tete-e-tete (which wasn’t even an argument just a good boyfriend trying unsuccessfully to look after his too drunk too stubborn woman) threw them.  TheOneNightStand and I are best friends, we don’t fight, rarely have disagreements.  Oh he can crack the shits a plenty, but its not directed at me, he is the typical brash, insensitive, don’t think before you speak Aries man.  But his intention is never to injure or even offend.  He just has never been well schooled in the art of tact or diplomacy.  Other people's sensitivities don’t come to mind.  He just says what he thinks, when he think it.  It COULD make for a very stormy relationship if one was too sensitive and took things personally.  It’s the one thing with him that I have never taken offence to though.  Its like water of a ducks back to me.  He is fiery and hot headed.  Lets off steam regularly, but never stays mad for long.  If he was annoyed with me, or directing his outbursts of annoyance at me, then I guess it would be different.  His family are amazed at the change in him since we have me.  They have never seen him so mellow and say that I am a calming influence.  His previous relationship was just one fiery fight after another.  She never understanding him in this way.  I don’t know why I do?  I have always been a bit fiery myself.  But with TheOneNightStand I have seen this amazing, calm peaceful facet to my personality that I  never knew existed.  So if I say we had a fight, or we were annoyed at each other, you will know that it means a few words may have passed between us. 

The friends we shared fire with on Saturday night though, they are TheFighters, having bought a house and moved in together after 6 weeks.  TheOneNightStand and I met around the same time and its been very interesting to see the development of our respective relationships.  I know without a doubt that TheOneNightStand and I could not take this momentous step at this stage.  TheFighters seemed to lose all sense and reason and took the plunge.  Strange for people in the late 40s/early50s (she is a fair bit older than he).  And it hasn’t been a very successful strategy for them to adopt.  Constant fighting and regrets early into the relationship.  What pressure, why on earth would you do that when you have just met each other and don’t really know each other?  Surely at our ages, with divorces and broken hearts aplenty behind us we should have learnt that there is no rush to love.  That the early days are for the joyous time of discovering who our new partner is, good and bad.  It’s a time for getting to know one another, what we appreciate, and what we don’t.  It’s a time of building a foundation of friendship.  Financial commitments can only add an unnecessary pressure that new relationships are not built to bear.

There have been times when I have felt that TheOneNightStand and I could live together.  We just "work".  We are best friends.  But we say that the joy we have could last six minutes, six months or sixty years.  At this stage who knows?  Our past experiences have made us take things pretty slow on the commitment side.  We spend a lot of time together, and not a day goes by without each other.  However, he was only a month out of a long term live in relationship when we met and I have a very highly strung and intense 14yo daughter; for us the way forward is one small step at a time, and just enjoying getting to know each other.  Besides we had enough trouble admitting that ours was even a real relationship for quite some time.  Truth be told I think that sometimes TheOneNightStand still tries to convince himself its not.  Doesn’t work too well though.  He likes me too much J.

Just half an hour until Friday begins.  I'm dawdling away my time here at TheOffice.  Its 4pm on Friday arvo and I have done what I have to do, starting something new will be, well annoying.  Besides TheBoss has left for the day to get yet another car in a long string of disastrous car mishaps. 

I'm looking forwarding to going home, and not.  Screaming match to rival the fishmongers at Vic Market with TheDaughter this morning has left me a little zapped of "I love my home" umph today.  Not being sure what whirlwind hormone has taken over her body this particular day makes the trek home lined with trepidation.  Will she still hate me this afternoon or shall we be friends again?  Maybe a subway and some internet time will douse the fire.  God I hope so!  I cant be bothered with someone else's hormones today, my own give me enough grief.  I just want a 'bex and a good lie down' aka champagne, vodka and TheOneNightStand.

We are heading off to TheVan tomorrow, think 2 ½ hours in the car in the direction of Gippsland and you are in the right direction.  I love TheVan.  TheDaughter isn't coming, sadly (or maybe not so).  I would love her to come, I like her spending time with us.  But she is 14 ½ and a social life to be had.  Arrangements have been made for her to stay at a friends in lieu of parent's absence.  I have a sneaking suspicion that one of these evenings they will spend at home.  Moral dilemma.  Go to TheVan, trust that she will be ok and 'turn a blind eye'.  Or stay home and she hates me for not trusting her.  I have decided on the former.  I am sick of hatred.  And as noble and strong as it sounds to stand my ground, its exhausting and I can't be bothered.  And I WANT to go to TheVan.  Its relaxing. 

Ok well its not Friday yet, but it will be tomorrow wont it? And then I will be saying TGIF.  I live for Friday.  Fridays means going to bed and temporarilty having  no more ridiculous radio station bursting forth into my slumper - I am sure that that hour before waking is the only one I really truly sleep - or would if that damn Tracey would shut the fck up occassionaly.  I COULD change the station, Tim and Tracey give me the shits.   But it got stuck there one day and I havent been proactive enough to change it.  Sometimes I can do the Hughsey KateNovaBreakfastThing, but they can shit me too.  Actually my preference is Red Simons on 3LO, but I moved my bed from under the window and away from door facing in an effort to Feng Shui and now I can't receive 3LO - go figure.  I wonder if listening to crappy commercial radio stations that pump out top 40 formulaic tunes affects Feng Shui???  If not all the clutter under the bed propablay does. Oh well, my life is a collection of ironies and contradictions, what difference if in the bedroom too?  

So why Girlfriday?  Apart from being a Patent Secretary - kinda girlfridaish????? Fridays mean racing home, via the supermarket for weekend supplies and a bottle or two of vodka.  It means seeing the man, and every other Friday the daughter.  Its the end of brain strain and no more trains.  It's a reason to celebrate and relax.....so here I am - your girlfriday.

Why on earth would anyone blog?  Me, I am intrigued and I want a place to write about whatever I want , whenever and IF I want, and to make up funny boring names for my loved ones and friends.  A particular penchant of mine in the past, in particular when it comes to men.  In my more singular days not so long ago, when I was on a dating man devouring rampage, I regaled my co workers with disastorous man stories, and the subject of such narratives always adopted a psuedonym.  

Brings to mind  the LobeLicker, doesnt take much imagination to grasp the knighting of that particular saint surely.  Imagine one long sloppy darting tounge chasing my ears and nose in a desperate attempt to connect and you will soon get the picture. 

Then there was BadDateAlco - picture grandpa blue cardigan, slicked over brill creamed combover, the mysterious disappearance of the contents of a wallet, a confession of alcoholism and devouring my meal after returning his and I am sure that you are at a loss to understand why we never made it to date two (or even the end of date one).

Hot on the heels of a succession of  chardy laden girls nights out came BobTheBuilder.  Hot Hot Hot, well for one suburban drunken pool playing episode, followed by an array of sexy texty - a seductive seafood sensation later and - an Incredible Hulk Doona.  Need I say more?

Unfortunately for you dear reader (I've always wanted to adopt that particulary Bronte esque manner of addressing the intended audience) the captivating tales of the 30Something Melbourian Secretary with a flair for late night pool and drinking sessions and attracting all manner of psuedonym worthy men are for the now on pause.  Yes 5 years of one night stands and the wandering in and out of my life of  TheKiwi or TheWaterMan are over.  For a newer, more permanent manfixture has emerged.  Trying to think of a suitable nome de plume for him....but I never have been able appoint a poignant or comical descriptor of my most recent companion.  I shall FIND one for his anonymity - Im leaning towards TheOneNightStand -  Ironical really since its now been almost 8 months.  BUT he was a one night stand.  He just never went away??? Not yet anyway.