31/5/2007 - Characters

1/4/2007 - Possible cover

1/4/2007 - Vampires will never hurt you.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LYRICS

"Vampires Will Never Hurt You"

And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart

And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
What if you put the spike in my heart

And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and

(Come on!)

[Chorus]
Can you take this spike?
Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless
Night time sky?
Can you take this spike?
Will it wash away this jet black feeling?

And now the nightclub sets the stage for this they come in pairs she said
We'll shoot back holy water like cheap whiskey they're always there
Someone get me to the doctor, and someone call the nurse
And someone buy me roses, and someone burned the church
We're hanging out with corpses, and driving in this hearse
And someone save my soul tonight, please save my soul

[Chorus]
Can you take this spike?
Will it fill our hearts with thoughts of endless
Night time sky?
Can you take this spike?
Will it wash away this jet black now?

(Let's go! Come on!)

And as these days watch over time, and as these days watch over time
And as these days watch over us tonight
[x2]

I'll never let them, I'll never let them
I'll never let them hurt you not tonight
I'll never let them, I can't forget them
I'll never let them hurt you, I promise

Struck down, before our prime
Before, you got off the floor
Can you stake my heart? Can you stake my heart?

Can you stake my heart? Can you stake my heart?
(And these thoughts of endless night
bring us back into the light
and this venom from my heart)

Can you stake my heart? Can you stake my heart?
(And these thoughts of endless night
bring us back into the light
kill this venom from my heart)

Can you stake me before the sun goes down?

(And as always, innocent like roller coasters.
Fatality is like ghosts in snow and you have no idea what you're up against
because I've seen what they look like.
Becoming perfect as if they were sterling silver chainsaws going cascading...)

1/4/2007 - 1

Your first year of University is hard enough, but it is made even more difficult when there is a death, or two, in the family. Sure, relationships, fashion and the major environment and structure change can cause minor disruptions to your studies, but a death really shakes things up, especially when it is your own. I’m not a corpse or a zombie, but I am dead. I am a vampire, and a baby one at that, and I was turned during the last few weeks of my first semester of University, as was my twin brother. Now this is always when the questions start, how did I and my brother get turned at the same time? It happened at a party. We are pretty close so we spend a lot of time together and so, as usual, we went to the party together. The party was like most high school house parties with heavy drinking and everything else, the only slight difference was that all of our friends are Punks and Goths, so there were a lot of people wearing black and looking creepy gathered around us. I’m not saying there weren’t lots of ‘normal’ people there too, I just didn’t take the time to introduce myself. Looking back on it now, I guess that is why we didn’t suspect what was going on, I mean nothing seemed at all out of the ordinary.  To cut a long story short, it turns out that the party was planned by a group of young vampires; old compared to myself but young to others nonetheless, who wished to flex their muscles and prove their power. And my brother and I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, hitting on the wrong people typical, mum always said we went for the wrong type, guess she was right.

The night had started normally enough with many a drunk teenager talking and arguing about different degrees, authors and what not or making out in dark corners. I don’t remember drinking much, I never do unlike my brother, but I do remember a guy coming and chatting me up. A guy whom I spent most of the night just talking and laughing with. Apart from that I remember nothing. 24 hours later we woke up on the floor in the tiny, seedy town house from the night before though we weren’t really worried, we woke up in odd places all the time if we had a good night the night before however, we were hungrier than we had ever been in our lives, so we obviously were not hung over. So we did what any normal creature would do, we went searching for food. The search led us to all of our usual haunts, the Pancake Kitchen, my favourite, and the nearest sushi train, Malachi’s suggestion, but no matter where we went nothing seemed appetising. After two hours of aimless wandering, feeling hungry and incredibly weak we sat down t a bench in the mall to try and work out what was wrong with us , especially since we both normally eat anything that will stay still long enough. We were hungry but, the thought of food made us feel physically ill. “Drix, what the hell happened last night?” I had been wondering exactly the same thing, the joys of having a twin, “I don’t know babe, I just don’t know. All I remember is us going to that party. God we didn’t drink that much did we?”

“This is the worst hangover I have ever had.”  I was just nodding my head in agreement, an action that hurt like hell, when a fight broke out outside the bar on the mall. As I watched one guy threw a punch at another’s face, fist making contact with the guy’s nose. Next moment, all I could smell was the metallic smell of fresh blood. He was more than 10 metres away from me, but I could smell it close, as if it were my own nose bleeding. I could hear his heartbeat loud in my ears. I felt Malachi take my hand, bringing me back to reality. “I remember” he whispered. So did I it had all suddenly come rushing back to me; the teeth, the pain, the blood then the immense darkness that followed. “Drix, I’m hungry again…does that mean we’re…” I stayed silent, not wanting to say what I was thinking, a pointless exercise, Malachi already knew what I was thinking, “we need to feed sis, as awful as it sounds, we have to get blood or we’ll die.”

“We’re already dead” I muttered darkly, as I watched the scene of chaos outside the bar as bouncers rushed to break up the brawl.

1/4/2007 - 2

The big problem we now faced was how to feed. Who could we feed upon without it being noticed, and how would we go about it? Were there any dos and do-nots that had to be taken into consideration? Being turned accidentally put Malachi and I in a bad position as we had no one to guide and teach us. “Do you think it’s like the movies, tilt neck and bite?”
“Who knows, can’t be much more I guess. I mean, I doubt it matters how you extract the blood from them as long as you do it…”
“What about the whole ‘don’t drink the last drop’ concept?”
“How should I know, but I think we should just go with that until we know for sure.” We were both quiet for a while, then a thought hit me, “You know what is going to be hardest? I still feel human, totally human. I don’t know if I would be able to drink another human’s blood. God, do I even have fangs?”
“You’ll get used to it, we both will. And yes you do in fact, small, kind of cute, but definitely fangs.”
I looked up at Malachi who was smiling grimly and saw what I must also have; two slightly longer and sharper than normal eye teeth. Scarily they suited him.

The first few days were hell, the insatiable hunger; it took over everything in our world. I couldn’t think the only thing in my mind was the need to feed, the craving for the feel of my victims pulse in my mouth, and the flood of hot fresh blood flowing over my teeth and down my throat. But instead of quenching the fire like hunger within my belly, feeding stoked it, made it worse, not better.
Malachi and I spent our days sleeping in an old crypt. We discovered it was empty long before we were turned when we were walking through the cemetery and noticed the door was broken and did not shut properly. Before we moved in, so to speak, we did a patch up job, and slept securely throughout the day. Our nights however, were spent skulking in dark alleyways and seedy pubs and nightclubs preying on anyone that happened to stumble into our path r who was too drunk to put up a fight. I don't remember much of that time, it was all a blur to me, and nothing was important, nothing but the need for fresh blood. However, one thing I do remember, we always preyed on men, big nasty ones normally, and because I am small and blonde and look cute and innocent even if I do wear all black, I always seemed to be the bait! Although it is always good to know that you can still pick up even though you are dead it does reduce your faith in mankind when older men are trying to get young girls drunk and take them home.

1/4/2007 - 3

Standing amongst all the Punk and 'Emo' teenagers at the Adelaide all-ages gig venue, 'The Underground', my senses are on fire from the sweet smell of sweat and the close proximity of hot fast-pumping blood but, through it all the lyrics of one particular song cut into me like a knife, "Without you is how I disappear...”

I think the words hit me hardest because my twin brother Malachi is not beside me. He has gone off hunting, for want of a better word, alone tonight. However, the words of that song have also prompted me to question the feelings of the loved ones whom I have left in the daylight of the world of the living. It has been a couple of months now since our mortal lives were snatched from my brother and I, are they still looking for us? Our parents surely still would be, after all they have not found our bodies, and never will. Do they think we have run away? I cannot for one moment believe that they would think we would run away without obvious reason and without word, sure I threatened it now and again when I did not get my way, but I never meant it, I relied to much upon the familiarity of the family home and the safety of the family itself. Every night that I wake, I think of calling them, or writing to them but then I stop and think about it, what could I possibly say, "Hi guys, Malachi and I are dead, but we're ok. We're Vampires, surviving perfectly well by drinking people’s blood, oh and we're sleeping through the daylight hours in a crypt. Would you mind if we came back home? We promise we won’t munch on you or your friends, and you can convert our bedrooms as we will sleep in the cellar…" No. Something tells me that won't go down overly well.

But I’m digressing. The thing that I have become most aware of is the fact that without Malachi by my side this eternity will be totally unbearable. Without company I would sink into oblivion, disappearing forever or, I would probably destroy myself to escape from an eternity of loneliness. A harsh realisation has dawned on me; we cannot survive the two of us alone. Furthermore, I know we are not alone, we are not the only of our kind, and we have to make contact with those that created us. A difficult thing to do, as we do not have a clue as to where to start looking for them, nor whether they know that we exist as, for all we know, they may have created us by accident, not expecting us to survive the ordeal they put us through at that, originally, perfectly innocent house party.

1/4/2007 - 4

I always loved the day after a rainy, stormy night. The world always looked so fresh and clean, the sun all the more bright as though every bit of dust and dirt that had been blocking its rays had been washed away allowing the light to shine through without restriction. As I walk through the empty streets of the city, feeling the cool drops of rain on my skin and seeing the purple and blue flashes of lightening over the hills, I feel the burn of regret, a burn that not even the coolness of the rain can quench. Regret; regret that I never took the time to appreciate the wonders of the world around me, the wonders and beauty that the daylight brings.

The night has its own beauty, enhanced dramatically by my new eyes. However, the only wonder to me now is the wonder of blood. That crimson elixir of life. I am calm and at peace now as I have fed on the willing blood of an old woman who I found wandering the darkened, litter strewn pavements; lost, confused and homeless. I drew her into my arms, embracing her, comforting her. I swept her long cobweb-like white hair from her shoulder, baring her neck to me. I sank my teeth in gently, making sure I did not hurt her and as I felt her pulse slow and her life-force slipping away she whispered to me, “Thank you…”  and then died in my arms.

v

I tend to find that I feel more alive after feeding. The lights lining the streets seem much brighter, the colours around me more vibrant. I can feel the old woman’s memories swimming around my own mind. Images of long lost decades; free love in the sixties, the Vietnam war, the cold war, involvement in feminist movements and all of the lovers she left along her long road of life. Then her ‘fall from grace’, as she liked to think of it. She never really knew what had happened but suddenly, the money ran out and she had debt collectors banging on her door day and night until one night she ran away with a few articles of clothing and resigning to taking up residence in the shadowy backstreet doorways of the city.

That was over a decade ago, things had obviously not improved. I saw all of these memories vividly in my mind as though they were my own, it was always the same. That was over a decade ago, things had obviously not improved. I saw all of these memories vividly in my mind as though they were my own, it was always the same. Hang on, what am I saying, if it is difficult now, what will it be like in the future? I suppose I will learn to cope with it. I mean, it is not like you can physically fill up your memory bank. I look upon all of these memories fondly and try to draw what I can from the experiences within them.

I think about all of these things as I wander the streets of the city searching, searching desperately for some clue to fellow vampires hiding somewhere, but with little luck.

1/4/2007 - 5

It is 3am, the witching hour, and around me most of the city is sleeping, save for the bars and clubs serving the insomniacs of the metropolis. I turn down one of the older streets lined by a combination of old and new buildings standing side by side. I stop dead, if you will excuse the pun, a tingle spreads over my body, a feel of power playing over my skin. However, where it is coming from, I have no idea but, I can smell blood, fresh warm blood and another underlying scent, not death, not fear, a bitter-sweet smell, a smell that makes me think of one thing, sex.

The feeling of power and the cocktail of sensual scents drew me towards the huge carved dark wood door with its big metal bolts and hinges.

This is the second time I have been here, the second time I have had these feelings, as though I am being pulled towards this door. the first time, about a week ago, my brother way with me and the feeling was not as strong, but I could still feel it, as could he, but unlike myself, the feelings surrounding the door scared him and he insisted we leave. He has always been the more wary of the two of us. This time however, I was alone, and free to be as impulsive as I wanted, although Malachi and I still relied on one another heavily for companionship we had started to grow distant in many ways and we therefore, preferred to hunt, and feed alone, part of me had an inkling that this was normal vampire behaviour, the wish for solitude at certain periods of their eternal life. I however, had an urge for the companionship and, in many ways, guidance of an older vampire than myself. It was because of this urge that I stood at the door now, half accepting, half resisting the pull that I felt coaxing me inside.

1/4/2007 - 6

I didn’t bother knocking; something told me I was welcome here. I opened the door and slipped inside closing the door quietly behind me before taking off my hood and looking around me. Yes, I know wearing a hood is a bit cliché and very B-grade horror movie, but I have always loved wearing my black hooded t-shirts under my long grey coat and it is more than anything a comfort thing, especially since it has been pouring with rain lately, I may be dead, but my hair still gets frizzy in the rain.

I wiped the rain drops off my face and looked around me, at a totally unremarkable hallway. It looked like any modern hallway, one large black and white print with splashes of red amongst the dark shades was hung on one wall to my left and a huge mirror covered the wall ahead of me. There were doorways on each side of the hallway, opposite one another. The doorway to my left was shut off by a large wooden door; through the other I could see light flickering, candles perhaps? Part of me wanted to test the door to the left however; I could feel that strange pulling sensation coming from the open doorway to my right. I walked towards it, my footfalls echoing on the polished concrete floor, someone had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to create this modern minimalist look, within such an old house. I turned through the door and stepped into a large room with the same polished concrete floor however, this floor was partly covered by a large red rug and two huge black leather couches strewn with cushions of different fabrics, but in the same crimson shade.

“You took you’re time getting here…” reclining on his back on one of the couches wearing only a pair of black jeans and boots was a man well truthfully, he looked more like he was in his late teens, whom I recognised. I knew those long, soft, dark curls that framed his face. That cheeky grin and glint in his eye. That toned and tanned chest bare except for a ring in his right nipple and a silver chain around his neck. But why I knew him, I had no idea.

“You don’t know who I am do you Drix?” he asked. I knew I had known him somewhere before, but the past few months had been such a blur, that my memories of anything before the change was all but gone. “No.” I whispered. He swung his legs onto the ground, stood up and walked towards me. I had known by looking at him that he was tall, but this guy was tall. Actually, looking back on it, he probably wasn’t that tall, I’m just such a short arse, everyone seems like a giant to me.

“My name is Lavaine” he said, holding out his hand, a silver band encircled his wrist and he had a silver ring on his thumb. I looked up into his face as I took his hand and then I noticed what I had not before. Two pointed eye teeth sneaking over his lip as he smiled.

“I thought silver burnt vampires” I said. He shrugged and smiled wider exposing his teeth completely now. “Surgical steel.” He said simply, “Except for this” he pointed to his nipple, “This is silver, otherwise it would have healed. Hurt like hell though”

“I can imagine.” Then I remembered why I knew him, why I knew his face, knew his smile and what that smile meant.

I remembered the first time I saw that smile; it was at the last party I ever went to alive. I remember seeing him walk in the door, and my eyes being instantly drawn to him running over his chest, covered by a tight black shirt, down his legs which had been wrapped in the same jeans he wore now. I remember Malachi betting me that I couldn’t get him to get me a drink. A bet that he had lost. Lavaine had gotten me a drink, and the two of us had spent over an hour just talking about music, movies and other random things however, after that, I remember nothing. Except…

“It was you.” I whispered. Withdrawing my hand from his. “You made us like this” My anger was building in my chest now I fought to push it back down. “Why?” I managed to hiss.

1/4/2007 - 7

“You Bastard”, I screamed and lunged at him ready to slash his face to pieces with my long black nails, but he was far quicker than me, and grabbed my wrist hard, forcing me to my knees at his feet, fighting to hold back the tears of pain. “Easy now babe, don’t get yourself worked up” He whispered, “Although you are particularly alluring when you’re angry.”

“Why? Just tell me why you did it.”

“To save you.” I looked up at him sceptically when he said this, “Oh don’t get me wrong” he continued dropping to his knees beside me, “I initially had every intention to kill you too, but you intrigued me. You and your brother so close to one another, both so truly fascinated by the idea of death and of the un-dead and the more I spoke to you, I wanted to talk more, to know you more…”

I looked him straight in the eye, “I knew what you are the moment I met you”

“I have no doubt you did. Which means that you were either very brave or very stupid letting me get so close to you, and all the more so for letting me kiss you.”

“That’s why you spared Malachi and me; we were willing victims, and also willing to be turned.”

“Yes, and No. You make it sound noble it wasn’t, it was pure selfishness, I wanted you, sexually. I wanted company for eternity and you, you were someone I connected with, whom I felt I could possibly love, well as much as a vampire can. I also knew that I couldn’t just turn you it had to be your brother too as I knew you could never survive without him. ”

Lavaine reached out his hand, I hadn’t even noticed he had let go of my wrist, and ran his fingers over the two barely visible bites on my neck, making me shiver, “I am sorry I have caused you so much pain, it was never my wish. It was selfish of me, you were so young, you had so much time ahead of you. I should have given you a choice, a choice I never h…”

I don’t know what came over me, but before he could finish his sentence, my lips pressed hard against his, my hand moving to the back of his head, into those long brown curls. He seemed shocked at first, but then relaxed, pulling me to him his tongue slipping between my lips, grazing my fangs.