China Machete - The problem with Chinese men

China Machete

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The problem with Chinese men

Most foreigners notice that when they come to China, it is very easy to make friends with Chinese women but not men. I am not sure why that is exactly, but a lot of the problems that occur with Chinese men also occur with Chinese women, so perhaps there is a false impression about the friendliness of Chinese women. Foreigners probably make friends with Chinese women more easily because more women speak English and are doing jobs that involve working with foreigners.

I think the main problem with Chinese men is that they see being direct as a sign of stupidity. If you are honest and upfront, then you must be stupid because smart men prefer to give nuanced answers.

A related problem is that once you are direct and upfront, Chinese men tend to believe that you will take all their words at face value. I had a workmate like that. I firmly believe that he spoke a ton of crap to me, which was probably the direct opposite of what he thought. He always had a little grin on his face, probably because he thought that he was being so clever. However, he failed to realise that it was quite easy for me to read his eyes, which clearly showed that he was not speaking from the heart.

This kind of nuanced speak from Chinese men is a real hindrance to communication. As soon as the space between two people is filled up with this kind of crap, then it is very hard to feel comfortable with each other. I am also forced to start speaking bullshit and I cannot really engage in true dialogue.

The other major problem with Chinese men is when you have a Chinese girlfriend or wife and the Chinese man thinks he can take advantage, probably because the Chinese woman is only with you for a green card. They start giving compliments to your woman in Chinese (as a stupid laowai you don’t understand Chinese of course) and some even have the balls to ask your lady for her phone number. In the case of the above, I have only one thing to say to Chinese men: There is a quantou with your name written on it.

Posted: 1:00 PM, 16/9/2008 in China

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Chinese men.

What a generalisation!
Posted by Anonymous at 2:16 PM, 16/9/2008	Link

Untitled Comment

Not a generalisation ... but an attempt to explain something that the author believes that he has observed using the analytical tools at his disposal.
Posted by Anonymous at 7:47 PM, 18/9/2008	Link

More sinister

Or perhaps they believe that the women who are with foreign men are open to that sort of relationship rather than being loving and faithful? It's a very negative way to view women either way.
Posted by AngelaJames at 9:42 PM, 23/9/2008	Link

fair

personally i think it has far more to do with a huge insecurity complex that women do not have so much. how many times have you been talking to a chinese man when the conversation turns round to Cinese politics/ history, the opium wars, strong china etc. seriously dude, chill out and let's just have a drink and a chat about the football. after 7 years in China i only have 2 male friends that i can totally happily sit down and have a beer with without fear of some sort of weird nationalistic rant happening.

Posted by Anonymous at 2:13 PM, 30/9/2008

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