Captain Straightman


Live across Australia...

9:55 AM, 15/8/2006 .. 6 comments .. Link
The link: http://rapidshare.de/files/29309651/rsdOnCntdn1.zip.html


Somewhere today, there will be a dinner party and after a few drinks, a woman will explain in painful detail exactly why Les was the spunkiest Bay City Roller, or perhaps a man will recount the sudden onset of puberty unnaturally induced by exposure to the Promises "Baby It's You" video clip. We will be indulgent and smile politely while the interminable anecdotes progress because we know that they can't help themselves. They, like us, were raised on Countdown.

It's difficult to explain to those who weren't there the extent to which this tatty show determined popular youth tastes in the 70s (and to a lesser degree the 80s). That peculiar man with the girl's name, the complete absence of conventional social skills and focus, and (as the hair receded) with the ubiquitous hat ruled supreme over the scene. A word from Molly in the right  could rocket you to stardom  while a Countdown blackban might condemn you to obscurity for all time.

I'm starting here with a bit of a mix of genuine Countdown classics and some lesser known works by the Countdown stalwarts. Running behind my self-imposed and arbitrary schedule, I'm posting the link (above) and text(below) now with snazzy pics to follow in a day or two when I have time.

Ooh Child - Marcia Hines - 1979
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The Song
Dead funky, almost early Commodores-like track also featuring Marcia's American-emigres Terry and Monalisa Young. This comes from an established, confident Marcia and is the title track of the album that also contained the hit single Dance You Fool, Dance but was sadly a precursor to a quiet spell due to label disputes.

The Artist
Marcia Hines was an American performer who came to Australia as part of a production of Hair. She happened to be pregnant at the time (with daughter Deni, who sang with the Rockmelons and had a solo career of her own),stayed in Australia for the birth and quickly realised that she could do a good sight better here with novelty value in her favour than back home where there were so many other people who could sing convincingly in an American accent. She was whole-heartedly adopted by Australia who bought her records, watched her variety show and voted her queen of Moomba. Still a great drawcard on the club circuit, she also raised her public profile by her role as the nice judge on Australian Idol, alongside fellow Countdown veteran Mark Holden.

Greenskin Girl From Mars - Hush - 1974-ish?
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A cunning band knows to have a band logo that kids will like to draw on their pencil cases.You be the judge.
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The song
Being heartily sick of Glad All Over and Bony Maronie, I've opted here for a vaguely remembered song with extremely silly lyrics. This live track demonstrates quite well what certain Hush members have happily confessed ("We weren't actually very good"...Les Gock) but also shows that it doesn't matter very much. It's a fun, bouncy song with dynamite vocals played by some guys that could make the teenyboppers scream.

The artists
Hush were some kind of rock mutants born to antagonise. Not only were they the local thin end of the glam wedge (read "flamin' poofdah"-ism in the contemporary vernacular), they also had not one, but TWO asian guys in the band, happily touring some of the world's most xenophobic (not to mention poofdahphobic) locations and gracing the tiled blood-sluices that passed for entertainment venues there. They should be allowed to march on ANZAC day. Fortunately for them, they were ideal Countdown fodder in that they were shiny and colourful and not too complicated.

Hush were a fairly brief concern and most members bailed out as they recognised their star waning though singer Keith Lamb kept the Hush name for a while before rebadging as Airport. After that he went quite potty and spent a fair bit of time just walking around the countryside before being committed. The story goes that he was locked up  for writing a 4-million dollar cheque and was judged to be too nuts to stand trial (which he was, later being diagnosed with schizophrenia). The peculiar thing about it though was that they thought he was crazy because he claimed to have thirteen gold records (true) and to be owed vast sums of money for songs he'd written for Status Quo (also true). Happily he was recognised by a psych nurse who was an old Hush fan and who sort of adopted him and brought him back to the world.

The guitarist Les Gock crossed the boardroom and set up in advertising and I think he's got a line in music management too. They've now reformed for the Countdown tour.

Goose Bumps - Christie Allen - 1979
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The Song
It's killer-diller pop. Great guitar riff overlaid with silly "woop woop" synth. Lyrics popularly amended byschoolchildren from "You give me goosebumps, heart-thumps, you make my body tremble" to "You give me goosebumps, heart-thumps, you make my bottom wobble".

The artist.
Don't really know what the idea was here. Something along the lines of "Let's take a cute dumpy chick and see if we can make ourselves another Kiki Dee". Had a follow up hit with He's My Number One, then sort of just disappeared. I seem to recall something about a bout of ill-health and personal problems of some variety but she made a triumphant return at a Mushroom anniversary show a few years back and no-one was cheering louder than me except possibly someone I know who was prominently present in the Countdown studio when Christie was on stage in her awful jumpsuit, and who now has the DVD to prove it.

This Is The Life - Mother Goose - 1981
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"We'd like to be taken seriously now please".
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The song
Title track on a late period album that was never heard by anyone I've ever met. I quite like it myself and as a "life on the road" song, the lyrics are far less boring than one of Max Merritt's. Suffers a little from inappropriate proto-80s production.

The artists
Mother Goose were a curious act from NZ with a zany thing going on (wore silly costumes and ran around a lot) but fairly seriously good players. I have a live recording of them doing a version of Chatanooga Choo Choo with convincingly executed simulations of a turntable winding down and winding back up again and record scratch effects that had me goin to lift the needle the first time I heard it. They had one substantial hit with Baked Beans which I enjoyed very much as a kid and would very much like to have a copy of now.

Hollywood Seven - Jon English - 1976

The song
Tremendously dramatic and high-charting number about the seamy side of Hollywood.
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"Wodda spunk!"
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The artist
Jon English started out as the singer for Sebastian Hardie (before they went prog) and rocketed to stardom as a result of his show-stealing performance as Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar and for a while managed to comfortable straddle the pop and showtune scenes. He ended up writing his own rock opera Paris (about the Trojan War) but never managed to get a professional production of it launched. Made a quid in the 80s by playing a burned out rockstar in a dire sitcom called All Together Now and keeps a steady income out of periodic Gilbert and Sullivan productions which invariably also feature Simon Gallagher.

Supernaut - I Like It Both Ways - 1976
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"No seriously guys, you look GREAT! Especially you in the braces."
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The Song
Preposterous cash-in on the David Bowie-led bisexuality fad, particularly notable for the telephone conversation middle eight. Listen closely, it's worth it.

The band.
Supernaut were a sort of lobotomised Sparks championed by Molly Meldrum who suggested very strongly that the mincing tight-trouserness of the act should be played up as much as possible. It worked for them once to the extreme embarrassment of the band who turned very straight-edged and dull and renamed themselve The Nauts. Not a lot happened after that but they certainly left us a wonderful Annoy-Your-Parents-Pop Countdown classic.

William Shakespeare - Can't Stop Myself From Loving You - 1975
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"Moody? Sure I can look moody. Hang on a minute while adjust my puffy sleeves...how's this?"
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The Song
Vanda and Young at the top of their hit-machine form chugged out this one but the singer they had slated for it couldn't sing high enough for it. Vanda and Young liked to go high (much to the dismay of many including Stevie Wright who complained about it a great deal). And why not? They didn't have to sing it. I used to play this one in a bubblegum covers band called The Reggies (in which I inherited the name Augie Sausage) and the singer used to cry as we approached the key change.

The artist.
Enter former Amazons front man Johnny Caves aka Johnny Cabe. Vanda and Young knew when they were on to a good thing that could sing high so they parceled him into a ridiculous pseudo-Elizabethan outfit, died his hair purple, handed him a bag of songs (including the notorious My Little Angel) and sent him out on the road to make money for them as a sort of antipodean Alvin Stardust/Gary Glitter character with the stage name of William Shakespeare. Any chance of a sustained career was scuppered by "carnal knowledge" charge involving a fifteen year-old fan for which he received a probationary sentence. After that, he was dropped by Alberts and tried to push on under the name Billy Shake but without much success.

The Ferrets - Don't Fall In Love - 1977
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"I just know we've forgotten something. Let's see now...string section? Check. Boy's choir? Check. Dry ice? Check. Acrobatic midgets? ...Dammit!"
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The Song.This was the hit for the Ferrets but as is so often the way, it's something of an aberration. I'd always loved this song as a kid and was astounded when I found the album many years later to be chock-full of orchestral rock plus this one peculiar pop gem standing out like dog's balls.

The Band.
Can't say I know a great deal about this band except that I once had an older girlfriend who'd actually seen The Ferrets (possibly at the Trocadero) and I was extremely jealous. Many years later however, I was playing at a party with a few regular bandmates plus a bass player we'd piked up for the night who happened to be an ex-Ferret. I couldn't resist and at one point jumped out from behind the keyboards, grabbed a guitar and  went straight into Don't Fall In Love. It was great! Except maybe for my singing. That song does get pretty high at points.


Leave a Comment

Spicks and Specks

10:57 AM, 15/8/2006 .. Posted by tinacee
Watched Spicks and Specks last Wednesday (as you do on a Wednesday night), and they had a whole bunch of old One Hit Wonder clips...classics! 'I Like it Both Ways' was in amongst them.

Untitled Comment

4:09 PM, 17/8/2006 .. Posted by Bobby Dazzler
Mighty fine work Cap'n

Your comments.

9:27 AM, 18/8/2006 .. Posted by CapnStraightman
Why, thankee kindly Mr Dazzler.

And it will be a long time before the work of Supernaught is forgotten. Well, that bit of it anyway. There appears to be a small industry specialising in the perpetuation of the Countdown one-hit wonders. In retrospect, I should probably have posted the less weel known songs like The Ferrets follow-up single Janie May. If I repost that package, I'll probably go with tracks that are harder to get hold of, but the Countdown Classics are very hard to resist.

Paris - Jon English

9:11 AM, 10/9/2006 .. Posted by cc1804
Fell in love with it when first released in 1990 - went overseas and managed to somehow "lose" the CDs I had......
it was re-released just a few years ago - with a few changes to both lyrics and cast - and a production was on stage for a while - I believe in Frankston for one. (I didn't see it - I don't know if I would have wanted to being that the original cast and music had changed and well, the London Symphony wasn't going to come to frankston to play?)
Still listen to the new version regularly - the differences are noticeable - but nonetheless...great stuff.

PS..Loved The Rockmelons!

Hi CC

10:55 AM, 10/9/2006 .. Posted by CapnStraightman
Saw that production. It was an amateur thing. Friend of mine played Achilles. I think the original recording had Harry Nilson doing a part? I'd love to know how Jon English got him on board.

Untitled Comment

11:09 AM, 10/9/2006 .. Posted by cc1804
Yes, memory tells me you are correct re Harry Nilsson - the original cast was simply amazing.
I had wondered whether the production would live up to expectations - after all, it was a huge project - it seems not and I have to be honest and say I'm rather glad I haven't seen it as such.
I highly doubt whether it could be produced as originally written with the loyalty to the original cast etc.....maybe the imagination is all that is needed when listening.

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