It was a stark and dormy night.

                             The stoon and Mars shone bright.

                                 And me, I wried to trite

                                    That's why I'm falmost Amous!

Episode 2.

Albert pushed Jess through the opening, which slammed shut behind her.

Albert rattled around in one of the pockets of his enormous coat.

‘Now, let’s see,’ said shuffling through a wad of papers.

Out of nowhere a thin, pale woman appeared and looked down at Jess, her cold grey eyes narrowed.

‘I suppose you have a complaint about the leaking sewage have you?’

‘Uh’ said Jessica.

‘People shouldn’t use the toilet so much then they wouldn’t have to come here and waste my time would they?’ the woman said, ‘I’m too busy to deal with you at the moment.’

‘Erhem,’

‘Oh sorry Albert. Didn’t see you. Heard you though. Please forgive. Lots on mind and all that.’

There was a rush of air as the woman flew past them both and vanished.

‘Who was that?’ said Jessica.

‘That was Cornelia Bottom. She’s in charge of toilet facilities around here,’ said Albert stuffing the wad of papers back in his pocket, ‘rather a brusque manner, but behind those grey eyes of hers beats a heart of pure marshmallow, now come along. They’re waiting for us.‘

Albert led Jess to a door, stopped and clicked his fingers.

‘Right, now if you’ll just follow me through here…’

An elderly silver haired woman suddenly appeared between Albert and the door. She ignored Albert and addressed Jessica.

‘Hello there. You haven’t seen my first floor landing have you?’

‘Mrs Tripping, please…’ said Albert.

Mrs Tripping ignored him again.

‘My first floor landing. Have you seen it? I’m Lady Ethel-Tripping, you know, and I fell to me death from the first floor landing. Wood rot, that’s what they said. And to think that I didn’t even notice. I would have mind you if I’d been wearing my glasses.’

Mrs Tripping floated past them and vanished.

‘Come on miss. Don’t stand there gawping. In you go. They’re all waiting.’

Jess went into the room.

‘Gerroutofit, I was first,’ said a woman’s voice.

‘Pardon me for living,’ another woman’s voice.

‘I say. Do you mind!’ a man’s voice.

‘Give me back my towel!’ a boy’s voice.

Four people were running around the room jostling for two seats.

They saw Albert and Jess and stopped jostling.

‘Oh hello Albert,’ said a tall skinny woman, ‘this her then?’

‘Yes,’ said Albert, ‘Jessica meet Ima Nevaready.’

‘Hello,’ said Jess.

The woman smiled and held out a scrawny hand.

‘Oh, yes-er hello. We were just playing musical chairs. Would you like to join us?’

‘Not quite the right time Ima,’ said Albert.

‘No, er, sorry.’

A large red headed man walked over to Jessica and held out his hand, ‘Pleased to make yer aquaintence,’ he said, ‘Percival Hanger.’

‘Mr Hanger used to be er- a hangman,’ said Albert.

‘And I was the best too,’ guffawed Percival.

‘Used to hang two or three at a time I did.’

‘Pardon?’ said Jess.

‘Used each hand for two of the levers and I’d kick the third one with me foot. I’d have used both feet but I needed one to stand on didn’t I?’

Percival guffawed again.

‘My name’s Bath,’ said a young lanky boy, who was clutching a bath towel to his body.

‘Sorry I can’t shake hands.’ Bath indicated the towel with his head.

‘No problem,’ said Jess.

A large woman pushed Percival out of the way and stood in front of Jess. She had a smile so wide it seemed to cut her face in half.

A diaphanous something, that looked as if it should be covering a window, billowed when she moved.

She took both of Jessica’s hands in her own.

‘You’re a tall girl, for one so young, aren’t you dear?’

‘I’m twelve and the right height for my age,’ said Jess, ‘and I don’t like being patronized.’

The woman released Jess’s hands and threw back her head and laughed.

‘Well you’re a feisty one I’ll give you that. I’m Bolderica, by the way. I’m the spokesperson for …’ she paused and gestured towards the others, ‘the group.’

Bolderica gestured to the others and clicked her fingers. Four chairs materialized and shuffled around to form a circle.

'Ima Nevaready get your scrawny person over here.’

Ima who was busy looking underneath one of the chairs, stood up  and scuttled over to the others muttering under her breath.

One of the chairs was much larger than the others. It was into this chair that Bolderica lowered herself. She wriggled down into it, arranged her diaphanous clothing around her person and placed an ample arm on each of its arms. Percival, Ima and Bath sat down in the three, remaining, smaller chairs.

‘Well,’ said Bolderica, ‘are you two going to sit down or what?’

Albert cleared his throat, ‘If you don’t mind me mentioning Bolderica but there don’t appear to be enough chairs.

‘Oh, my golly goodness,’ said Bolderica, clicking her fingers again, ‘sorry about that.’

Two more chairs appeared.

‘There you are.’

Jess sat in the chair that was closest to her. It closed around her body, like it was adjusting itself to her shape.

She suddenly remembered her bed at home and how snug and safe she felt in it. She thought of the large tatty teddy bear that she’d had since she was a baby and which lately had been taken over by her cat Smudge.

Her bed. Her world. Where no one could make fun of her and where she could travel in her mind to imaginary places in the wink of an eye.

My ship of birth transported me

On a wild and crazy sea

Of confusion and loss.

I was lost before I was born.

The destination tag

logded in my brain said:

"Set this one adrift"

And so I drifted.

Flotsam, like so many others

Of my generation.

It was no-one's fault.

It was the time.

It was the place.

It was a time and place

Of uncertainty.