In the comments to my recent post on transcendental meditation, Dikkii had this to say about A Current Affair:

"ACA has the social conscience of a dog on a croquet lawn."

This, of course, made me laugh quite a bit, so I thought I’d write another post on the subject.

I would like to point out that their competition, Today Tonight, also blows. James Randi's commentary this week, under the hyperbolic title ‘A leap forward in Australia,’ mentions TT and a story they did on some quack, which could apparently prompt legislative change (hoo-bloody-rah). The problem I have with TT and ACA is that every time they do one of these 'Evil Quack Commits Fraud - Kills Thousands' stories, they make out that the quack in question is a bad egg. Wrong - all alternative medicine practitioners are full of shit; some are just more blatant than others.

There’s an old joke that covers this problem nicely:

Q: What do you call alternative medicine that works?

A: Medicine.

What is really annoying is that the people taking advantage of these ‘alternative’ health services can cost us non-morons money. How? By increasing the cost of health insurance premiums (passing on the wastings, as it were); stunningly, most private health insurance providers cover many forms of blatant bullshit, such as acupuncture. For those who aren’t already aware, acupuncture ‘works’ by channelling and directing chi energy (which, of course, doesn’t exist). The only evidence we get from these twits that it actually works are anecdotal testimonials. They usually go something like this:

“I was really sceptical about it, but my best friend’s cat told me it works, so I thought, like, what have I got to lose (your money; your life; your pride; you idiot)? So I went in and the doc was really nice, laughing a lot (at your gullibility). He stuck some pins in me in what seemed a completely random fashion (if only you knew how random). I know it seems silly, but the needle prodding cured all my problems (it is silly, really silly). What’s more, my astrologer reckons I’m in for a good week (kill yourself, please).”

So Jill, the harebrained hairdresser, can pop into a clinic, get some needles stuck in her dumb ass, sit in front of a camera and provide a very convincing testimonial to the efficacy of acupuncture, be home in time for tea and crumpets, and cost everyone else their hard earned cash. Bitch! Why isn’t everyone pissed off about this?

Randi’s story includes an interesting quote from our Health Minister, John Hatzistergos, from his comments on possible legislative changes:

"What we say to these people (the victims) is we're doing everything possible to identify those individuals who exploited you and to prevent them from exploiting other people in similar circumstances."

Identify exploiters of the gullible and ignorant? Piece of piss, Johnny boy; you can't be looking very hard. Here’s a quick list to get you started: acupuncturists, homeopaths, naturopaths, psychic healers, faith healers, aroma therapists, chiropractors, magnet therapists, crystal healers, reiki and pranic healers…  

“In Australia we have over 10,000 people listed as “Alternate Therapy Specialists” with the industry worth A$2 billion.”