There was an interesting article in the Herald Sun’s Sunday magazine last week, entitled High Spirits (by Joanna Bounds). It outlined the success that bullshit artists, frauds, and deluded morons are having in recent times. I refer, of course, to psychics, mediums, numerologists, palm reader, astrologers, etc etc. The article also makes a quick mention of a form of lunacy of which I had previously been unaware: pet mediums. Holy shit! A quick google search led to the website of renowned pet psychic Sheila Trecartin who has this to say in her FAQ:

Q: Can you do a reading on an animal that has passed away?
A: Yes, in addition to providing the recent photo, name & gender of your pet, please provide the month and year your pet passed away.

Yes, make sure you tell me your pet is dead, just in case I give you the usual bullshit about your pet requiring a diet change, or needing more walks. That would make me look a bit silly, wouldn’t it? Also, she asks for a photo and the name and gender. What could she possibly say to convince people she’s for real? Sheila: “Did your pet like to eat food?” Creduloid: “Oh my god, that’s amazing. How could you have possibly known that?” Morons – you’d think she could at least find out the gender when she’s communicating with the spirit of the dead pet.

The article goes on to say that the spiritual business translates to about $60 million a year in Australia – “a healthy turnover in anyone’s language.” Not in my language Joanna, I would call it an extremely unhealthy turnover, one that reflects poorly on our education system.

We then move on to the testimonials from gullible victims of bullshit. This one, by advertising guru Siimon Reynolds, was especially entertaining (no, that’s not a typo; Siimon added an ‘i’ to his name because a numerologist told him to, the idiot):

“At first I wasn’t impressed, but looking back it was pretty accurate.” Very likely the result of a combination of subjective validation, retrospective shoehorning and stupidity. 

“Very few get it all right, so it becomes hard to do anything with the information – you don’t know what’s correct.” Wow, you got something right Siimon, it’s fucking useless. Only after the events have occurred can you shoehorn their vague ‘predictions’ to fit the data. Did you notice that even with all the mental gymnastics required to fit their predictions to what actually happened they still got most of it wrong? No, you probably didn’t. I forgot for a moment that you’re an idiot. This is called selective thinking. 

“I think its ridiculous to assume that some people don’t have extra powers.”

Hahahaha. Wow, you’re an idiot Siimon. It may be ridiculous to assume that people don’t have extra powers, but sceptics have assumed nothing of the sort. We’ve looked at the evidence, and found that there is not a shred of scientific evidence to back up their claims. We are also well aware of the methods these people employ to fool credulous morons such as your good self. What is ridiculous is to assume anyone has any extra powers without a shred of evidence – ridiculous and stupid.

You might have noticed that Siimon here was described as an advertising whiz or guru. Ah, now we know why advertising consists of such vacuous, unoriginal crap; morons like this guy are leaders in the industry.

So you think this stuff is just a bit of a laugh and no danger to anyone? This should scare the hell out of any prospective investors. In the late 1980s, Yamarna Goldfields Ltd paid Uri Geller (notorious fraud and spoon bender) $350,000 to help find gold in the Solomon Islands. Not surprisingly, he found jack-shit. Even the higher-ups of large companies are devoid of critical thinking skills. Even so, you’d think someone within the company could have said: “Hey boss, this guy’s a fraud. Check out this book.” Of course, these days, you could just point to this video wherein Geller's magical spoonbending powers desert him because he couldn't use his own pre-bent spoons. How angry would you be if you’d invested money in a corporation and they pissed it away on such frivolous claims? Other creduloids of even more concern are mentioned in the article, such as Cherie Blair and Ronald Reagan. People in positions of power who make decisions based on ridiculous bullshit instead of logic and evidence? It’s a scary thought, but it happens all the time – take George Bush for instance.

Anyway, the Herald Sun did alright this time. At least Joanna consulted a sceptic and gave his voice a few column inches. Kudos to Joanna Bounds for that, at least.

All this talk of psychic bullshit has reminded me of Allison Dubois. Medium is currently airing on Channel 10 and is supposedly based on her ‘true story’ (Channel 10 have not attempted to perpetuate these bullshit claims in their advertising or on their website; good on ‘em) I’ve heard this ‘it’s based on a true story’ crap, however, from two people in the past fortnight. Do you believe that Medium is based on a true story? I refer you to this excellent series from the Two Percent Company. Read it and learn. If you read it all and still think Allison has magical powers, then I have no hesitation in calling you what you are: a dribbling idiot. Allison’s appearance on Rove Live, where Rove credulously swallowed her bullshit without question is what led me to the Two Percent Company’s site in the first place. Thanks to Allison for that, but she’s still pond scum for doing what she does.