Now that our Health Minister has lost his powers of veto regarding RU486, the government has a new plan to minimise abortion rates – abortion counselling lines. Fifty million dollars has been put aside to fund this altruistic assistance to pregnant women, which will also include a Medicare rebate. Some people might say that this policy is similar in political theory to ‘closing the gate after the horse has bolted’ (people like me, for instance). The best way to reduce abortion rates would be to fund contraceptive education. Of course, that might reduce overall pregnancy rates and they don’t want that. We need more people to pay taxes in the future and keep the economy growing. That’s why they offer a big payout to the parents of every child born.

So, who will receive the funding and offer the counselling? Not pro-choice doctors involved with abortion clinics, they’ve been banned from providing assistance. This is understandable, ‘cause like, what the hell would they know? Instead, our PM hasn’t ruled out church-affiliated groups from providing assistance, insisting that all advice will be ‘non-directive’. Oh, you lying, slimy little toad. You guys have already stated the goal for the program is to reduce abortions. How the fuck can the advice be non-directive given that is the case?

Involving church groups in the process is also a dead giveaway. Women are sure to get wonderful advice from these loonies:

‘Did you know that God will hate you and send you to hell forever if you kill that baby he created?’

Of course, technically that’s not directive advice, but the absolute truth within the framework of the insane, fairy tale reality these people inhabit. What a joke.

Our problems, however, pale in comparison with the crazy shit going on in the United States. The Governor of South Dakota has recently signed a bill banning all abortions except those required to save the life of the mother. As always, the guys over at www.twopercentco.com have put it best:

“What's that you say? What about serious health risks to the mother that aren't immediately life threatening? Fuck you, women, carry that fetus whether you want to or not. But surely pregnancies resulting from rape are an exception, right? Nope — fuck you, women, you're giving birth to that rapist's child (and, uh, that'll be at your expense, by the way). What about a woman's right to choose what happens to her own body? Don't make us laugh! Fuck you, women — now get back to the kitchen and make us a turkey pot pie!”

Read their whole post on the issue here 

If you haven’t had a look around their site yet, I strongly recommend you do so. They kick ass all over the place.