log on

look in

from another place

imbetween

where I've been

and Brisbane

I think I'll  always be

where I've been

wherever I go

carry it within

a constant travelling companion

through life, lives, worlds

constant, is my experience

misty mornings

conch shells blowing

deep bright sun rising

fields of verdant rice

waves of transcendental song

eddying around me as I slowly pace

the rooftop gardens

gazing out and across

to Godruma, place of vision,

dusty roads I trod with awe

hearing stories that made my skin tingle

and my heart beat to ecstatic tunes

the dust, the special places,

stone stairs leading to

chambers of peace

where the wise sat

and went about their daily business

fastidiously, with compassion

resonance - belonging - sense of relief

peace yet some soul yearning

to hang on to these moments

to carry them back

to carry them always

to keep the essential

in the everyday.

As some of you know we just ran the first core unit of the Grad Dip here in Brisbane.  This unit focuses on "experiencing".  We show some of the access points MIECAT uses to get a sense of how you, as an individual, experience. Looking at modalities that are strong for you and other features of your  personal experiencing and meaning making.  

As is usually the case with our students who seem to have often been searching for an experiential and creative way of companioning others, they became absorbed in the process within a very short period of time and is also often the case, were quite amazed at the perspective and awareness they gained from simple MIECAT procedures of 'being present' to self and other.

Myself (Sarva). Kay Thorburn and Caitlin Reid were the teachers for this weekend and were very appreciative of the opportunity to meet and work with the new students who made the time so rich with their individual contributions. 

Thanks to all.

Anyone who didn't make it this year, please keep in touch  and maybe we can invite you into next year's course.  I hope so.

Write in to www.miecat.org.au if you want to make an inquiry.  We will soon have a Brisbane web site up and running. 

Am writing this   sitting in a lounge in Singapore Airport waiting for my connecting flight to India.  See you all in a couple of weeks.

Sarva

friends staying

demential preying

two doors down

mother in nightgown

at door in storm

looking for somewhere

to go toilet outside

tissue in hand

house all dark

light candles

reassure

tuck her in

lock the door

home to friends staying

apologising for delaying

they understand

it's all fine

tired,go to bed

good sleep

waken fresh

in early hours

for bike ride

in cool rain showers

starts again

phone ringing

answer bringing

distant voices

come to see us

come today

the others go

I decide to stay

start my invoices

see friend Kay

who by the way

is shedding skins

from outside in

and insideout

well anyway

I can't say what

Kay's stuff 's about

but let's say

she's a friend indeed

in thought in word

between the lines

without a doubt

we go for lunch

we talk we laugh

inventing things

imagining

what we could do

how we could play

how we would work

and what we are today

and later on still

Kim drops by

with Mike and Paris

no longer try

to make a three course meal

in fifteen minutes

too surreal

just fry up chips

and heat up soup

sandwiches and laughter

it's good to see them here

and soon the friends

and husband will be home

just taking fifteen minutes

to jot this down alone.

must be a record

spent only one hour

cooking

christmas day

that's the way

I like it

that 's the way

uh huh uh huh

I like it

no arrangements

no fuss

am I

anti Santa Claus?

what was that movie

the scrooge who was mean

and didn't give presents

don't know if youve seen it

well it's been quiet and groovy

wish you all well

love Sarva

thanks for visiting and giving me the "beautiful" word in your response

your visit has brightened yet another morning..............

how does your garden grow?

Sarva

sometimes surprise

isn't that nice

sometimes surprise

reveals a disguise

surprise

myself

with my own

disguise

such a good disguise

that I couldn't see

that the one who was hiding

inside it

was me!

keeping me safe

I thought

from the street

from those who don't know me

from those I might meet

the disguise

sits between us

and yet has a purpose

for those who might want

to come under the surface

there's always a chance

we might meet once again

after first passing glance

we might yet become friends

I don't know if it's so

it's just how it is

and I might take the time

to explore more about it

with less reason, more rhyme

so sorry to all

for the times I'm not there

with complex excuses

for the disguise I wear

I know some can see through it

I guess I always knew it

and  I hope if they see

they will recognise me

waving.................hello!

I'm sometimes timid

with those I don't know

I'm sometimes intimate

I sometimes glow

I'm peeping out

from a vulnerable place

can you see my face?

hello...................

light filtering through the morning

trees sway to the breeze

it's so beautiful here

here in my garden

i feel a sense of peace

and wonder in these mornings

each moment seems so complete

and overflowing with contentedness

everywhere I look seems to fill me

with thanks for this time

 I so needed

where have they gone?

oh, where have they gone?

the web bloggers who sailed

into unchartered waters

the artists, the poets

the arrivals and the free

speak to me!

are you bored?

perhaps we need to talk

about new things

ideas, next year,

MIECAT events

grad diploma

masters degree

exciting ventures

maybe we're tired

and winding down

for the year

and I'm still buzzing

like a shocked chicken corpse.

Jo !

Where'd you go???????????????

Itchywitchy New Farm Park blues

is what we sung

when you didn't come along

we feasted and bloated

recovering now

wondering how

I managed to do it again

put my body under strain

far too much ingesting

fat and trouble digesting

you did well not to come, Von

maybe it wasn't such a bum, Von

like the stuff I put in my tum, von

it's no joke

I git the New Farmj Itchatywitchety blue - hoos

guess I go my overeating snickety snackey due - hoos

but apart from that

catching up and a chat

good companions

these Miecatians

seeya soon gals

you were sorely missed

good vibes on de bloggin
if I dun get to login
I's hoping really hopin
I sees ya in da sunshine
at de picnic
be there babe
to share de rave
babbabbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaba ba
dis picinic is no way square
de company is soooooooooooor  rare
I jest trying to hold out till we're dere
you better dun come dere

I bin gon

for so long

feel like I aint never

gonna get back home again

I missed y'all

the poems and all

I missed the feeling

of login in

I bin distracted

I bin busy doin time

aint no fault of mine

I guess

but I bin gon

mebbe we meet

at de picnic

mebbe we meet later

mebbe we never meet again

I don't know when

I's jest visitin now

for a short while

so I'm back

kind of for now

how y'all???

Well thank you, all you others

responsive fairy godmothers!

feel a bit surprised really

that I must sound

like I'm wobbly.

Just woke up this mornin

feelin it's another day

with a new script,

holding myself gently

and doing what I felt

was best for me.

Yeah, I'll be going away

in a fortnight for a few days

yet right now feels like "a break".

Didn't really need someone else

to give it me as in "Give me a break!"

Gave it myself, took a different take.

morning hours were meditative,

didn't do too much cramming

so less cramming = less juggling

in my world, I've found.

brief phone call instead of long visit

was a good idea so went out on time

and now after seeing a kid, I'm back here.

Read messages from Jo and Von

and felt their innate kindness

but fellas!!! I'm O.K. it's today!!

And I'm keeping the bastards at bay!

Trouble is, I live near the bay!!

Dont' get worried..............

I live with it, around it,

in it and explore it every day.

Speak to you later

and thanks for your comments.

Sarva

I am dogmother

not a fairy one

perhaps a scarey one

for the dogs

and for me too

Kay is away

and no-one here 

our boy tends to disappear

it's a dog crisis

so here I am

being dogmother

my mother calling

and others needing

wanting feeding

and here I am

with computer rebelling

and Bear dog smelling

Buddy is depressed

cos Kay's his best

mother ever,he's forever

at top of stairs

waiting,

eyes brimming tears

anticipating

her return with Lauren

meanwhile I juggle

with invoices and phone

demands from home

 more than I can take

Give me a break!!

(is the meaning I make)

Everyone take care

of what and where

you are and what you do

Because tonight

I'm not there for you

I'm here with smelly bear

and don't care

what's happened elsewhere.

Tired now, been a long day

Nothing more to say.

He stays in the same place

I'm in and out of the space

Kay keeps a steady gaze

up on the bench he is

asking, checking

smiling, recognising

talks of testing

life is testing

if it's so bad here

you'll be relieved when you get to heaven

it's all a test

he always thinks he's failed the test

and will be rejected

he tests others giving them intricate tasks

in response to mind games he invents

life is a test so

you don't have to enter life

you just engage with the tests

until you enter Heaven

then it's all over and you can relax

no relaxing here on earth

you have to be hyper-vigilant

or you'll get tripped up

by someone who is ahead of the game

Kay says she doesn't want to engage in the game

when he asks her to engage in his distraction from pain

he asks me and I decline but offer I might

play something else some other time

feeling that playing is fine

but not now, when  "being" is in question.

identity is what comes up for me

in retrospect - my internal meditation today

and what we do to keep far away

from what we think we are

and what we fear we are

what a relief it can be

(even before Heaven!)

when someone is kind and true

enough to be honest with you

and name, describe what you do

to avoid seeing and being with who

you long to see and be

to connect with oneself

to shed yet another false identity

or are they just different ways of being?

and yet we say what we are seeing

we describe the pattern

it's not a judgment

we describe the voice

the pace, the rhythm,

the cutting words

that take the cut away from himself

for a few minutes

we ask about the sharpness towards the other

Kay asks about anger

who is it about?

he acknowledges it is HIS

and smiles in the knowing

he says "you guys are putting the spotlight on me"

we both agree that he turned on the light

and we followed him with it

we are not in control, we follow.

More later but this is for now.

Been away getting exhausted

Doctorate meeting

Information day for Grad dip. inquiries

Sharing information about working with organisations with MIECAT approach (with students on their last leg of the Grad Dip.)

Get together with MIECAT students and staff at John and Tanya's home on Saturday night (which was wonderful - thanks to everyone being there and especially to John's performance and Tanya's beautiful piano playing................beyond words.

Instead of resting Sunday, 10 people for lunch and festivities.

But am back

though wacked.

And guess what?  Tomorrow I will be posting a picture of the curlews who have grown so very much in a short space of time and look like teenage curlews now.

My apologies to Von and Meg for not having replied sooner to their very PERSONAL

intersubjective response to my fudgy drawing they had the misfortune to be shown on a recent visit to my house.  They have wonderfully embellishd it, the creative souls that they are. They have humour, these young women artists -watch out for them - they are lethal.

Speak to you all tomorrow.  I am going to SLEEP!!!!!! G'night.

Most kind of you

but I'll have to buy one

it would be a nightmare

to borrow one

and something go PING

in the night

then I might

have to buy two

one for me

one for you!

I can get one

it'll be fine

it'll be mine

for now

wonder how

long it will be

before it dies on me

better be positive, tee hee!

the bloody thing could even outlive me.

anyway, appreciate the offer

in the meantime

am using Kay's

or hubby's laptop.

speak to you later.

Sarva 

computer gone to hospital - maybe the morgue

I'm on Kay's now before I go

off for the weekend!

pray for my computer

(or give me one)

seeya all on Tuesday probably.

Sarva

Hi arrival - Kay

what a day?

and you, eh?

how was the boy

in your space?

I got right in the face

of my boy today

it was the only way

that I could say

"hold it"

you aren't God

(like he said he was)

you're a kid

power drunk

and it's not working

funnily enough

for me(!)

don't feel guilty

not really sure

why I'm writing more

about what went down

it's over - it's good

to be authentic

I feel bad

when I'm not

but today my kid got

some straight talk

some descriptive language!

some tough "love"

as they say

challenging him

about his illusion

that he's God

in heaven above

controlling everything

we lesser mortals do

like this wee kid tries to

and guess what

he aint enjoying

it a lot

he's lonely

bored and scared

hiding from those feelings

that bite him under the veneer

of cool, rude, angry mean

so I told I've seen

what he does

next week I'm sure

he'll come

and engage with us.

This is a pic of a technically inept sarva being photographed by a beautiful technician, Vonney. It's exciting and funny and a moment of magic tragedy.

Big special no longer available.  Thanks for response Von.  Any chance you could send me a copy (email if you prefer) of the response I sent you to the Core 2 assignment as I need to keep a record of these and I have "misplaced" my copy.  Thanks a lot.  Have a wonder- full day.......................how's the back?  Have you "flung?" which way up are you and I'm having this strange picture of your legs flailing..................wondering what it's like pushing the pram when they flail.............