Inga. Outga.

December 6, 2006 - Big Willy Style

A word on dichotomous males.

Strong Belwas is unequivocally bloke. Belwas likes V8’s, beer, turboed V8’s, smashing stuff, V8’s and tits. Belwas pumps iron, watches footy and wants a gun and a ute. The only way he could possibly be more male would be to sprout an extra testicle, which I believe he’ll do any day now – at which point I may just jump in front of a bus.

There’s only one chink in his carefully cultivated bloke-armor: Belwas has a peculiar, insatiable reverence for Will Smith. He knows the lyrics to every single song from every single Will Smith album, and is completely incapable of listening passively – Belwas needs to gesticulate and rap along with all the enthusiasm of the badass nigga he is. (Belwas, to his perpetual disappointment was born white, but I try not to draw attention to the fact).

While I’m all for men expressing themselves, there’s something mightily incongruous about six foot of muscle bound, tattooed Belwas busting a move to “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit’ It” in a public setting. Or any setting.

Frankly, I’d prefer it if he just wore my underwear.

December 6, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by amillionpieces

Haha! Will Smith what a bad ass ;)

I am not here to grump and be bitter, honest.

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December 6, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Norah

Can he not do both? The freedom of limb movement afforded by a thong has GOT to help his bad self to get jiggy wit it.

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December 7, 2006 - The mind boggles...

Posted by chica

Inga, I love someone who can make me smile at 4.30am.
But I believe the true test of strength of today's dichotomous metro-man is to endure the 'back-sac-crack' initiation provided by his woman's waxing salon. I'm sure that the hairless state would greatly enhance the thong, in providing greater jiggi-ness.

Edited by chica on December 6, 2006 at 11:52 AM

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December 8, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by catdog

well, thanks to my over active imagination I now have a startling image in my mind, what with you and Fergie and him and Will. Reminds me of my husband who is a true parra westie and tells me they used to drive around listening to spandeau ballet and prince. just seems wrong! Cat.

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December 8, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Inga

Pie - There, there. You guys have a better Prime Minister.

Norah, that's the worst mental image I've had, like, forever. Get your coat.

Chica - You have no idea how many times I've tried to convince him - strangely, the thought of boiling hot wax on his nethers doesn't appeal to him.

Cat - I can't apologise enough. And really, there was nothing wrong with Prince 20 years ago...kinda like there was nothing wrong with Tom Cruise two years ago.

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