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Spanner in the WorksPosted on August 27, 2006 at 7:27 AM - Post CommentWhen life seems manageable simply add a relationship to stir things up, even with Christians who have appropriate boundaries. (Darn that free choice clause, some days).
I am so inexperienced in relationships. How do you tell someone who you thought was the one 4 months ago when you both broke up, that you've moved on when he's reinterested? The main thing I dislike is the wishy washy stuff. We didnt strictly break-up, 'we took a break from our relationship', he went to see a counsellor re grief issues and she told him what was known already (but he wanted a professional opinion), that hes not ready to move on and he compares every woman to his late wife. She suggested he takes twelve months of being a social butterfly before he thinks about moving on, so thats what his decision was.
The thing is, in his confusion he told me I was just a season in his life but we could still be best friends (why do I gag at that?) and that we just wouldnt date. Looking back he laid down the expectiations but they never met mine. I was happy to slow down, stop talking about marriage (and I will say he was the one in the rush for it) but I wasnt happy to just be a maybe for twelve months. I never agreed to that, I do have some self respect! What kind of mess would I be if after twelve months of him being a social butterfly he landed on someone else? I sought the wisdom of my pastor and she told me she didnt believe he was the one, it was time to let it go and move on, and so after a few tears, crushed dreams and doubting my own judgement, I have moved on. I have good friends in my life of both genders, Im letting God be God, I have little dreams in my heart but I give them to God to let him be sovereign.
As for this relationship, it really is history and I need to be more clear with him about that. And hindsight has shown me that we do have a lot in common but the relationship would be built on a need for acceptance (my need) and a need for the old family life (his need) mixed in all that was we were both convenient for each other, and all that felt like love. (Is'nt it amazing when you look back at how God changes us).
Its my preference to one day be married and to have more children but if that is not Gods plan for my life, Im still believing the plan He has is going to be awesome. In the meantime I appreciate good friendships and the simplicity of their expectations and I wait on God.
Bec
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