I recently finished reading The Other Boleyn Girl for my occasional book club as we thought it would be good to see the movie at the same time.  Seeing how the character of Anne Boleyn was treated after she bore a healthy girl but then miscarried was a start reminder of some of the things I remember learning in History and Renaissance Literature.  Women were generally seen as only good to breed (which fortunately has changed in most walks of society) but the domain of fertility was completely their domain.  They were responsible if something went wrong, in determining the gender of the baby and for delivery (men were not just not present but completely excluded).  Whilst we know much better than this now, the domain of fertility still seems to be that of women.

I came to this conclusion, not because my boyfriend had tried to stir me up one too many times about all women being cluckey and wanting children eventually. I don’t agree.  I know young women who are contemplating having their tubes tied before even having one.

This week just gone I did some consulting work for a medical practice concerned with fertility.  And to respond to any questions before they were asked again, it was not a facility where abortions were performed.  I’d have strong objections to that.  It was a lovely environment genuinely aimed at helping women.  And that was the strange part, they mostly talked about couples conceiving, but seemed to mostly talk about having female patients and treating women (even though 1/3 of infertility is due to male infertility and about 1/3 due to problems with the male/female combination).  Unless the male partner stopped off to make a deposit (if you know what I mean).  Also all the lab technicians were female as well as almost all the administrative staff.  I think most of the doctors were male, but didn’t have contact with them.  I’m not sure how most husbands, who are part of couples undergoing treatment, feel about another man being the one getting his wife pregnant, even if the child will be his (well except where they had to use donors…)

Even though we have had centuries of progress, of fathers taking more responsibility, becoming more involved and being concerned about their virility, fertility is largely a female concern.  Even when it comes to assisted fertility.

The flip side of this, and I won’t write extensively to avoid being abused for my personal views, is that abortion is largely seen as an issue of women’s rights.  Which is more related to that outmoded way of thinking from centuries ago.  It seems to be based on the premise that pregnancy is solely up to women.  Which, when you think about it, it’s not, it’s a couple’s decision.  And I guess I was disappointed to see that there were not so many men working at this clinic because I also feel that all aspects of fertility and child rearing should be of mutual concern to men and women.

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