For years and years I have tried to not get on the “porn is bad and immoral” bandwagon.  My reasoning being that whilst I would never (and have never) look at the stuff, and it would be inappropriate for someone with Christian beliefs to do so, others did not hold the same beliefs as me and are free to do as they wish.  Although in this situation I’d make the proviso that they would have to be adults.  Today I have to say that I am on the verge of changing my opinion.

Recently it’s been revealed that Queensland has a lowering crime rate.  Except for sexual assault that is.  That is on the increase.  (The report in question also noted that drug offences are on the increase, but that’s probably not as sensational).  And anyone who watches the news knows about the increasing frequency that sexual assault and more disturbingly child abuse seems to be reported more often.  I don’t think that it is insignificant that a survey of young Australians has revealed that more and more boys and young men think that domestic violence is okay and that even rape can be justified in some circumstances.

As long-term readers of my blog will know, domestic violence is an issue that I am pretty passionate about.  It is never okay and never acceptable and that message does not get out often enough.  The sad thing about it as well is that whilst most of us would generally associate it with the lower echelons of society, it can affect any one.  And having a certain lifestyle makes it more difficult to speak up and get out.  Additionally abuse is cyclical and only stops when one partner ends up dead (the abusive partner when the victim retaliates, or the victim as the abuse becomes worse).

Rape and domestic violence have one thing in common and that is that they are acts of violence that are primarily about power.  The perpetrator  feels the need to assert their authority and for what ever reason does this in the most violent dysfunctional way.  The big question is why do more and more men use violence to assert their authority around women?  What is it in society that is making this more and more acceptable? 

In the case of the boys thought it was acceptable to have sex with a girl just because she was flirting, it does make me wonder why so many young men are completely socially dysfunctional.  Flirting does not indicate a desire to sleep with someone.  Flirting is just wordplay designed to stroke the ego.  And why should it stop because someone not only doesn’t understand the rules, but is willing to commit a brutal act because they are completely ignorant?  The other disturbing thing is how young the kids surveyed seem to be when they are starting to have sex.  A 15 year old is not emotionally mature and they are also not completely physically mature either – they’re still in the process of maturing – it’s not really the best time to be engaging in an activity that can be confusing and in some instances distressing for adults at the best of times.

One thing that came to mind whilst contemplating this was an article a friend recently posted on Facebook recently.  It was a movie review for a couple of films that explored teenage sexuality.  The review had some interesting comments from an Australian write (I haven’t found out enough about her to call her an academic, especially as she’s been compared to Kinsey who is not always known for his academic rigour).  She has done a survey of 300 teens and found that most of them were getting most of their information about sex, not from parents, educators or other members of the community, but from porn.  Not being someone who indulges in the stuff I could be wrong, but I hardly see porn as being a positive role model for how men and women should interact.  Generally speaking I’ve always understood it to be the stuff of fantasy and reduces interaction between lovers and the opposite sex to very little other than just the sex.  It needs to be taken with other texts about social interaction, not by itself.  And perhaps that is where the issue is coming from.  If internet texts are the ones that an individual is most exposed to, then their view of the world would be obscured.  And there would be huge gaps in social knowledge with regards to men and women interacting and also courtship.  Internet texts would give rise to being exposed to more de-contextualised sex (ie sex not played out in the realm of a normal relationship), violence and a dysfunctional behaviour.  For the first time I am starting to think that just maybe there is a connection between the high exposure to porn at younger than previously normal ages could perhaps be contributing to the attitude of boys and men towards women.  Especially if this is where most boys and young men are now gaining their sexual values.

This is a huge backward step for a lot of the work that women have done addressing the generally raw deal that they have had in the past.  Whilst women have often been treated well socially and even been leaders and opinion makers in this field, they were denied legal rights and the ability to enter many positions in society, especially with regards to vocation.  Much has been done to address this – women have greater access to education and vocational opportunities than ever before.  They can vote and they can even run for parliament – foreign concepts to our ancestors 150 years ago.  There is still a long way to go before we can progress to equity in many spheres, the glass ceiling well and truly still exists.  The sad thing that I think this situation actually reflects a backward step in the way women are treated socially.  More and more men seem to throw away social niceties as old fashioned, quaint or irrelevant due to the incorrect perception of women having the upper hand.  It would also seem that reducing women to the role of worker or passive sexual vessel is an unwanted side effect of this as well.  I'm not sure.

All I can say it I am starting to see the side of those who want restrictions on pornography.  I'm not about to throw away my libertarian views and start embracing K Rudd's ISP filtering.  But I am definitely more passionate about things like educating parents to monitor their kids internet usage and to spend more time with children to transfer positive functional values to them.

The articles and some extracts:

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,24662361-953,00.html

ONE in every three boys believes it is acceptable to hit girls and many children are routinely exposed to domestic violence, according to a disturbing survey.

The unprecedented survey of violence and attitudes shows one third of boys believe "it's not a big deal to hit a girl". One in seven thought "it's OK to make a girl have sex with you if she was flirting".

The survey also shows one in four teenagers lives with violence at home, prompting calls for domestic violence education programs in schools.

The study, which reviewed data from the past seven years, including a survey of 5000 12 to 20-year-olds, found up to 350,000 girls aged between 12 and 20 – one in seven – had experienced sexual assault or rape.

Almost one third of girls in Year 10 had experienced unwanted sex.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/11/13/2419230.htm

Queensland Police Commissioner Bob Atkinson says he is concerned by a rise in sexual assaults.

The annual police statistics report tabled in State Parliament shows overall crime fell by 5 per cent last year, but rape and attempted rape is up by 21 per cent

Commissioner Atkinson says the rise may be partly due to more people reporting sexual crimes.

"Whilst we are concerned, we do think that the situation is currently not at alarmist by any means proportions, and we obviously want to closely monitor it from year to year," he said.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/paul-sheehan/we-live-in-a-sexual-twilight-zone/2008/10/12/1223749846512.html

This is not as aberrant as one might assume. Sex Lives Of Australian Women, by Joan Sauers, published this year by Random House, based on a survey completed by 1806 women, finds that two-thirds of women said they masturbated regularly and "the most common scenario in our sexual fantasies, described by hundreds of women, was having sex with multiple partners".

Another recurring theme was "imagining themselves as sex workers, strippers, and lap dancers . . . A lot of women fantasise about sex with strangers . . . Bondage and discipline fantasies are very common".

Exhibitionism is also booming. Twenty-two per cent of the surveyed women aged between 20 and 29 had been filmed or taped while having sex.

Again, Sauers is useful. In Sex Lives Of Australian Teenagers (Random House, 2007), based on a survey of 300 teenagers, which found children were getting most of their information about sex from internet porn sites rather than their parents or sex education programs. Sauers found that 97 per cent of girls, and 100 per cent of boys, had seen porn by the time they turned 15. A third of girls had had a sexual experience by the age of 13.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/11/17/2421195.htm