Uni assignment doing my head in!

Posted on 17/4/2006 at 21:26 - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

 Trying to do my uni assignment on stats... and I can't think! boooo lol

Feeling hungry... but its after 10pm and I am off to bed soon, I have a 9am start tomorrow morning.  I had a strawberry and cream shake with dinner and it was FAB! (missed lunchtime shake as my chicken and salad was enough) I had fish and steamed vegies for dinner.. Not much taste, so I added vinger..

Gosh you should hear the wind and rain outside and the moment... lol I think the towels I hung out before it rained this afternoon are going to blow away..

It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be. - Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive Comic, 09-07-04

Posted on 17/4/2006 at 13:51 - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I overdid the Easter egg thing last night....  I was feeling down   and as many do I ate my feeling in Easter eggs.... totally paying for it this morning, feeling so ill its not funny!  I was woken up around 3am with bad tummy pains... spent the rest of the night hours in the bathroom... went back to bed when my bf got up... he doesn't know I called in sick, he thinks I am at work.. He would go off his rocker if he knew I took the day off after I MADE myself sick.

It sounds like he is nasty... lol he isn't he is loving and caring most of the time... but since I am trying to lose weight he gets mad if I eat stuff he knows wouldn't be in the program or if when I eat makes me ill.

He is very supportive of my weight loss goals... as I know he would prefer me at the weight we first meet (55-60kgs) not at this huge blob of 110kgs.

I am enjoying my day off at home... since my bf thinks I am at work no need to do house work or anything.. lol I would of gotten home about an hour before him anyway tonight.

Just annoying me... lol he things since I only work one job, and he works two that I have the whole responsibly of the house cleaning and washing...etc  and that I should do stuff around the house on my days off instead of just RELAXING.... where as he sits on his butt his two days off and basically only moves to go to the bathroom.

I know I am having a bitch at the moment... but makes me feel a bit better to write it down, instead of holding it in and going off my rocker about something tiny later...

A to your Q - lol

Posted on 17/4/2006 at 12:44 - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Hi Marsha

Yep TF is the shakes program.. check out http://www.tonyferguson.com  I checked it out 100% before I decided  to do it... I checked with my dr and he gave me the go ahead, I read all the weight loss stories and joined in on the forum to see how everyone thought about it. 

Since I am larger I get to have two servces of protein per day, where for someone smaller only gets one.

I love it so far... I have only gone off the "wagon" the last two days due to easter.

What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire. - Stanley Kunitz, O Magazine, September 2003

Posted on 16/4/2006 at 15:21 - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

   I have been so good today! I have only had 3 baby easter eggs.   So temptiong to eat the whole lot!

I had a english toffee shake for breakfast...  not my fav flavour, kinda taste like honey comb.. I LOVE the mocha and expresson ones, only if they are blended with ice. Taste like a dairy farmers ice coffee, I  them so much!

I spent the day alone, my bf was at work and my decided to go for a wonder. 

I spent most of the day watching fraiser on TV1, talking on line with my weight loss friends and just kinda day dreaming about a diffrent life... about one with alot of passion and love .  I want a realtionship full of passion.. I have love but not passion.. what I wouldn't give to have a guy that wants to spend all his time with me and to give me a tone of hugs and kisses... I want someone who has desire for me.

Its weird, but my current bf doesn't like to kiss.. I mean whats with that? He never has wanted to even when I was 1/2 my size...  On day I will figure out what I am going to do about this... But at the moment I am happy for the company and the love I do have.

I had a peak at my weight today and if I stay on track this week it looks like I will have lost another 3kgs... So on wed if it stays the same it will be 12kgs in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed!

I have a very long way to go... another 44kgs.

HAPPY EASTER!

Posted on 16/4/2006 at 15:04 - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place. - Ice T, The Ice Opinion

Posted on 14/4/2006 at 17:02 - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Feeling better this afternoon. I gave my parents a call in lovely sunny Qld.. (Instead of icky rainy Vic.) Made me feel a lot better, I know they love me and would welcome me home in a second.

Its so dark outside at the moment, I have been enjoying my afternoon watching the Australians next top model-thon. I have been really good food-wise today considering how sookie I was feeling this morning.

I had a yummy mocha TF shake for breakfast, just enjoying my banana one for lunch… not sure what I am going to have for dinner, I think I have some fish in the freezer (good Friday – should eat fish) or maybe a yummy chicken breast. I am so tempted to eat the easter eggs that I have infront of me, but I have been sooooo good!!

I am feeling a lot more positive this afternoon. A friend pointed out that since starting this diet I have lost over 9kgs in 14 days… I hope to god that keeps up. We are going on a tropical island  holiday in late july and I would like to be at a comfortable weight, so I can do lots of things and not feel icky.

I have been naughty and I haven’t done any exercise today and I don’t think I will… I consider this my day off.

I agree with my quote - I have love I just need some passion!

 

 

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Posted on 14/4/2006 at 13:35 - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Feeling so lonely today… Missing my family, friends and home a lot.. Don’t know why I still call it home, as I have been living here for nearly three years, but I still consider where my family and heart is home.

Sometimes I wish I could just pack up my bags and go back to the gorgeous beaches…  But I do love my partner, but he doesn’t seem to be here emotionally much anymore, maybe we have overstayed our relationship?

  It makes it so hard on weight loss being in a relationship and your partner doesn’t even want to touch you. I may sound like a bitch, but part of my weight loss motivation is to get to where I am happy with my body and my fitness so I can have a hard look this relationship and see if its beneficial to stay or to leave.

I know in my heart that things probably won’t change, we have been together for nearly 4 years now and he has always been this way… the only time he has been so affectionate is when I found out he cheating and he didn’t want to lose me (bullshit I think) and he was like the perfect boyfriend for a few months….

I am happy here at the moment… it comfortable if you know what I mean.. I have someone that does care about me and gives me cuddles…. But nothing more intimate than that…. I can be honest here… but I can count on two hands the times we have had sex… even when I was ½ my size he wasn’t really into it. So I know it’s not my weight…. But the thing that really gets to me. (When I think about it) is that he has cheated on me a few times… just to have sex… I mean WHAT is wrong with me?

I have never experienced these problems with my past boyfriends… even when I was fat (I go up and down up and down) a friend said that my partner does it as he has to PROVE to himself that he is desirable to women…

Just feeling lonely today, when I feel lonely I think about all this crap I try and hide and pretend that I am in a “normal loving relationship” He tells me a few times a day he loves me and he is always coving for me financially (NO I don’t ask, we live together and he is always making sure I have money) He is always getting me gifts and stuff…. But I would trade that all in a second for some affection.

I know its sad but my gorgeous kitten  has helped alot, he is so loving and snuggly... He has helped me alot. He seems to know when I am down and he gives me alot of cuddles.

Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane. - H. P. Lovecraft (1890 - 1937)

Posted on 12/4/2006 at 00:48 - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Gosh it was an extremely long day today, working the midshift this week. I don't like doing the midshift, as you can't really do anything before work or after work.

I didn't get any exercise done today.. not good. I usually do it twice a day, but cause of my chest and sinus infection I needed all the sleep I could get.

I love to dance for exercise.. I have a heap of dvds that I enjoy so much. 

I really need to keep up my dvds and my exercise bike. I am so tired of being overweight. I know that 99% of it is because of me. I need to keep focused and keep up the eating plan.

I decided to start doing the TF diet.. A shake for b'fast, fruit for m/tea, a shake and cup of salad for lunch, fruit for a/tea and a palm sized amount of protien for dinner with a min of 3 cup of salad.

New Start

Posted on 11/4/2006 at 22:56 - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

    I have decided to keep this as a kind of online diary to help me through losing this extra weight I am carring.... To help me with cravings and issues associated with weight loss... so when I am feeling like I can't go on with it all I can see why I am doing this and to motivate me.