23 Short Funny Jokes and Possibly More

Cruise ship joke

{ 12:03 PM, 27/9/2008 } { 1 comments } { Link }

From a passenger cruise ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. The cruise ship captain replied, "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."

Sharks and Lawyers

{ 6:15 PM, 2/9/2008 } { 1 comments } { Link }

Why sharks would never attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

Daytraders and Options

{ 6:12 PM, 15/8/2008 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Why couldn't the daytraders agree where to have lunch together?
They all wanted to keep their options open until the last minute.

Rabbit and the eagle

{ 12:36 PM, 27/6/2008 } { 1 comments } { Link }

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting and doing nothing. The rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Dental clinic logo

{ 11:20 AM, 17/5/2008 } { 0 comments } { Link }

dental clinic

Trying to understand this logo??? I am a bit confused as well. And I think it would be interesting to discuss dental options there.

Politician and lightbulb

{ 2:55 PM, 7/4/2008 } { 1 comments } { Link }

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

Windows crashed

{ 1:29 PM, 24/3/2008 } { 1 comments } { Link }

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Memory problem

{ 2:52 PM, 21/3/2008 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem?

Golfer and the Caddy

{ 12:45 PM, 22/2/2008 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Golfer: Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a sin any day of the week.

Accountant's Reincarnation

{ 10:06 AM, 18/1/2008 } { 0 comments } { Link }

The Accountant's Theory of Reincarnation: if you are a good and virtuous accountant, then you are reborn as an engineer. But if you are evil, wicked accountant, you are reborn as a psychologist.

Church Signs

{ 10:45 AM, 5/12/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

The new website called Churchsigngenerator.com is for those who may have a the devilish urge to sneak up to a church and change the sign. You can express yourself now in the privacy of your own home.

Antarctic Cruise

{ 3:55 PM, 29/11/2007 } { 2 comments } { Link }

One of the passengers, who survived the shipwreck of Antarctic cruise ship: "We didn't panic because we knew there must be other cruise ships in the area. The bizarre thing was that people began to tell Titanic jokes." Possibly like this one:

Titanic was about to sink. People on the ship were crying, running and praying to God - just then a passenger had the following conversation with the captain. Passenger: How far is land, from here? Captain: Around two miles... Passenger: Only two miles, then why these fools are making noise. I can swim even more then that. Just tell me in which direction? Captain: Downward...

Carrots on the Road

{ 2:47 PM, 3/11/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Two carrots were crossing the road. One was ran over by a car. After taking the injured carrot to the hospital the doctor says, "Well the good news is that your friend is going to live, but the bad news is he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

Accountant Job

{ 9:46 AM, 23/8/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

An accountant is a the man you hired to show clearly on your tax return you did not make the money you did.

Operation of Life

{ 3:01 PM, 18/7/2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
George Bernard Shaw.

Computer Joke

{ 10:20 AM, 25/5/2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

What kind of crimnal has moral fibre? The answer is: A cereal killer. According to article "Computer crack funnier than many human jokes" in New Scientist Magazine that was the joke made up by a computer!

Politics and Football

{ 8:25 PM, 30/4/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. This line belongs to senator Eugene McCarthy.

Winning the Rat Race

{ 4:16 PM, 25/3/2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

Lily Tomlin - comedian and actress.

Precise Accountant

{ 5:14 PM, 9/3/2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

The accountant was visiting the Museum of Natural History and said to the person standing next to him, "That dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old." "How did you get such exact information?" "I was here ten months ago and the guide said the dinosaur was two billion years old."

Programmer and Basketball

{ 6:07 PM, 8/3/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
"Thank you, dad, but where is the user's guide?"

No Need for WMDs

{ 4:14 PM, 28/2/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.

Stockbroker Job

{ 12:30 PM, 25/2/2007 } { 1 comments } { Link }

Stockbroker's creed: A man is a client until proven broke.

Lawyer in the Airplane

{ 9:33 AM, 24/2/2007 } { 0 comments } { Link }

An airplane was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. Few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

{ Last Page } { Page 1 of 3 } { Next Page }

About Me

My Bookmarks

Australian Resort
Blog Wave
Books to Read
Carbon Accounting
Campervan Holiday
Courier Service
Farming Crops
Film Reviews
Inspiring Quotes
Jupiter the Planet
Lego Land Project
Funny Famous Quotes
News that Matter
Medical Research News
Keynote Speaker
Melbourne Photos
Motivational Speaker
Online Games
Paddington Interiors
Property Australia
Runescape Blog
Sydney Film Course
Search Engine News
Strange Phrases
Tax Tips
UNSW Open Day
Yacht Charter
Whiteboards